Let’s talk about touching right now.
It is a basic thing.
Hand meets the skin to create connection and sensation.
It seems like the simplest thing ever.
You should know how to do it well by nature, and you just do it.
Except that it is not like that.
Feeling your touch
A touch is not only for your partner but for you too.
The more present you are in your touch, in your connection, the more you know what is going on in your partner’s body even without asking them. This is a skill that you can develop.
It all starts with being present and feeling. You are igniting your hands. This is something that you can practice on yourself. What you do is to touch yourself but you focus as much on your hand and how it feels for you to touch. Feel your palm or fingertips or whichever part of your hand you are using. Try to use your hand on different body parts focusing on the giving the touch part.
If you don’t feel much as the giver of the touch try to imagine that you adjust sensitivity to a higher level and try again. Don’t force it, play and experiment instead.
Try to do this with different objects.
Focus on you touching.
Feel.
Ignite your senses.
How does it feel to touch something silky or fluffy?
Something hard or soft?
Small or long?
This is going to help you to be confident.
Learning about sexuality, erogenous zones, tips and tricks can elevate your play, but only if you have good basics and you can feel and have the presence and contact that is going to amaze your partner.
Have a “touch tool box”
As an Erotic Blueprint coach my work is focusing on authentic sexuality and how to map your and your partner’s arousal. Every person is different, every body has its own truth. I created a video series about touches, so that you can create your own basic “tool box of touches” that you can use whenever you need it.
Energetic touches:
The Energetic blueprint is super sensitive. The lighter you go the more aroused an Energetic person will be. It is almost like they would extend themselves into the touch. Give them space to feel and kind of touch that they are craving. It can be surprising how these touches are exactly what they need. Less is more for them.
Check out my video about the rest:
Sensual touches:
Sensuals need closeness. Skin to skin contact means a lot to them. Help them relax and melt into the moment with the right touches:
Sexual touches:
Sexuals are fast and easily aroused. They can go 0 to 100 in a second, they love and need genital touches, nudity. Use your fingers for penetration. Have enough moisture and lube ready. Don't forget about your lips and nipples too.
Kinky touches:
Slaps, spanking, scratches, pinching, grabbing, hair pulling… The kinky “touches” are about impact expected or unexpected.
Shapeshifter touches:
Shapeshifters love all kinds of touches, variety, one blueprint flowing into the other. Just like this:
Communicate
I know that we started with the feel your touch part, where you have the presence and you can feel your partner better too. And now I’m talking about communication. Why?
Because the best, hottest touch is exactly the kind of touch that your partner is craving for and exactly where they want it.
Talk to them. Show them that you want to give the best for them, exactly what they want and need at this moment. Show them that you are present. Feel them and listen. Hold space for them without any judgement or agenda, so that they also can feel themselves and open up to that present moment together.