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As a coach working in sexuality it took me a lot of time to find the tools and methods that are inclusive and not about what I call “normative sexuality”. This is what I love a lot about Erotic Blueprints. There are 5 Erotic Blueprints: Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky and Shapeshifter. And it is all about how to map your arousal and create experiences that are deeply satisfying, including the kinky dynamics.

I’m talking to those here who want to know more about those parts of their arousal maps that are out of the “normal” box or are different. Let’s start with this video about why are you kinky:

Having unusual desires and being kinky is not necessarily a result of childhood trauma or you being broken.

Being kinky is in relation to what you consider “normal and accepted” sexuality is. So if you think, that having oral sex is not normal or a taboo, and you are still doing it, you are actually kinky, so actually you don’t have to do any extreme things. If you think that oral sex is normal, than you are not kinky doing it.
So it is a subjective category defined by your own judgement about what is taboo and what isn’t. 

Let’s go further and talk about the Kinky Erotic Blueprint. 

The superpowers of being kinky:

• Your fantasies are very vivid. 
• You are creative and sophisticated. 
• You are someone who is looking for more from life and wants to be authentic.
• Some of you have fetishes or certain dynamics that provide you a fast and stable lane to arousal almost instantly.

The challenges of being kinky:

• The fetishes (that turn you on so fast and so reliably) can be the only way for you to be turned on, and you can feel cut off from other ways to be really connected and intimate.
• You probably have a lot of shame about your sexuality and desires.
• You probably face judgement from others about being kinky
• You face more risks when you engage into kinky play or share your desires
• You probably need more toys :)

If you follow the sex coach blog, you will see posts about how to test your erotic blueprints and know more about what you or partner your need more of in order to have the satisfaction that they need. 

Do you need support? Write to me at the email: sexcoach@playblue.ie.