Have you ever felt that you are too much in your sex life?

When I’m talking about Erotic Blueprints and how to understand sexual wiring and arousal map I tell that it is like the love languages for sexuality.

What is arousing to you and what is really nourishing and fulfilling is a unique wiring for everybody. When you understand the main elements of your desires and you have “the language” to really understand the dynamics, everything becomes clear. You don’t take things so personally, you stop fighting or resisting and start to do what naturally works.

One of the thing we (all Erotic Blueprint coaches) hear from our clients is that “I wish I knew about this earlier". You stop fighting against you or against your partner and all this energy can be used to build something satisfying, deeply fulfilling and intimate. 

So I have blog posts of all the Erotic Blueprints - Energetic - Sensual - Sexual - Kinky - and this is the last of the 5 Blueprints: Shapeshifter. (Of course you are not “just” one blueprint, but you are a combination of them and you can even consciously expand into any of the blueprints.)

Shapeshifters usually can relate to any of the blueprints. It is so natural to them, that they don’t even realize that this is happening. This has good sides and has its own challenges. When you are all about what your partner wants and you don’t do the work to discover what your true authentic desires and turn ons are (and these are more than just pleasing your partner), then after a while you start to feel dissatisfied. Something is missing.

You have the capacity and the desire to have the full spectrum of sexuality and all the variety of pleasure. You need anticipation, longing, sensuality, pure sex, out of box experiences… 

You can have all the superpowers of all the blueprints like: orgasms even without being touched (Energetics), full body orgasms (Sensuals), going from 0 to 100 (Sexuals), being sophisticated and edgy (Kinky).
And you can also have all the shadows of the blueprints like: being easily overwhelmed (Energetics), elusive orgasms (Sensuals), sexual frustration (Sexuals), deep shame about your desires (Kinky).

So the more you give space for yourself to explore, the better your results and satisfaction can be. 

Why is knowing what is really fulfilling for you is important?

We have some beliefs about what “good sex” looks like. It is usually about having more orgasms or a very intense one. 

But now I ask you to remember the 3 peak erotic experiences of your life. The ones that stand out for you.

And look for the elements in them. So many times people mention totally different elements that are standing out for them. The memories of these moments are not always about orgasms or doing more. 

When you start to realise what is really fulfilling to yourself and your partner you can consciously create more fulfilling experiences. For you, Shapeshifters there is a lot about variation. You want to feel that your experience was a journey of ups and downs. You want the slow and tender and you want the rough and intense as well. So play with combining touches and kisses and movements and rhythms with contrast and unexpectedness. 

Check my video out for more: