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I talk to a lot of people about their sexuality and of course about their sex toys. And I am surprised that only a few of them have any waterproof sheets. 


And maybe you ask why anybody would need waterproof sheets or stuff to protect the bed from fluids? 


If you (or your partner) are a squirter, use lubes, like oily massages or maybe golden showers and at the same time you like to have a nice, clean, dry bed for the sleeping periods, then you need something to protect your bed.


I like vinyl sheets a lot and they are not my only options to use as a squirter. I have a small water absorbing pads and of course towels. You can also have waterproof bed sheets. So let’s compare what they can offer.



Start with the towel that (most likely) everybody have at home


It is so simple, if you are a squirter you just need a towel, don’t you, and it is sorted. And I have to admit towels can work in so many of the cases.

They are perfect to absorb a lot of moisture, they come in different colours and sizes, so you have them close and handy at your command.


On the other hand, you have to think in advance and put them under you, so that you don’t have to worry about the liquids. So this needs preparation (hence extra towels in your bed are not very comfy), and your towel always needs to be under you. So if you move, your towel has to move too. (Sometimes they even move when you don’t :D.) They have to cover all the areas that can be affected by the fluids.


A part of the picture is that towels are not waterproof. They “just” absorb water. So even though they can take and contain some liquids, unfortunately usually that is not all the liquid.

If you only have to worry about some lube or massage oil then towels can be the best choice for you.


Waterproof bed sheets


These sheets look like a “normal” fitted sheet and they are most likely on your bed at all times. This gives space to a lot of spontaneity. We like that.

There is a feature I like about them as a squirter. And this feature is something that I also don’t like about them. The waterproof sheets don’t let the fluid wet the mattress, so they have a water resistant layer underneath, but at the same time they have this “normal” material on the top. This means that you can see and feel the wet patch on the top. As a squirter I like to see the patch (however this is a personal preference, and not necessarily everybody is into this). On the other hand they need lots of time to dry, so you don’t really have a dry bed at the end for a period. It is easy to clean, just like other bed sheets.
Also massage oils can stain these sheets. If you use Nuru massage gels, that won’t leave a stain, so can be a good option.

Read my post about Nuru massage here.


Waterproof-absorbing pads


You can buy these pads in different sizes. Mostly they are on the smaller size like a medium size towel. They have a very different material than the bed sheets usually have several layers, and it is made to absorb lots and lots of liquids. So it dries superfast. You won’t even see how much you squirted. This can be an advantage or disadvantage depending on your preferences. 

Depending on the material they can feel good to your skin and some people like to have them in the bed. They can be handy as extra protection from period stains as well.

Also easy to clean them, just wash them in the washing machine, they will dry superfast.

They are not big enough for massages.

Read my blog post about massages.



Vinyl sheets



I personally love vinyl sheets. They are an amazing add-on for any kinky play not just on the bed but on the ground as well, if you have some other, non bed related scenarios in mind. The sheets have a shiny and a more matt side, so you can decide which one suits you more and helps with how to store and clean focusing on what side was actually used. The practical hedonist in me is purring from the efficient approach.

They are totally waterproof, so you don’t have to worry about leaking. You can wipe them clean easily at the end of the play, while they are still spread, but the deeper cleaning is more problematic, hence they are big and heavy. I usually spread my sheet in the shower and clean it, letting it dry. Sometimes I imagine how funny it would be to see them drying in the garden under the sun as normal bed sheets. :) 


There is another interesting thing about them. They are slippery when wet, so for example if you use them for a whole body massage and everything is oily around you, you are going to slide a little if you don’t wipe it down. When you are doing a body to body massage or a nuru massage, this is an advantage, but of course it is not necessarily for everybody. You can also buy vinyl pillow cases so that nothing can be in the way of your imagination.

Click here for vinyl products.


Do you have any alternative method to deal with extra fluids and liquids? Let me know at the sexcoach@playblue.ie.