Don’t Beat Yourself Up (Unless That’s What You’re Into!)

I hate to say this, folks - but we are very much in the mire of 2019. Ah, it seems like only yesterday everything was decked out in twinkly lights and I was able to excuse the Baileys in my morning coffee as ‘Christmas spirit’... Although we are always excited to get back to work here at - even we have to admit January can be a bit of a downer.

Honestly, sometimes I think it’s almost easier to ignore January until it’s over. This time of year is suddenly all about juice cleanses, pro-biotic yoghurt and gym memberships - a jarring replacement for last month’s ads for ‘moreish’ chocolate cake being described by a sultry-voiced Englishwoman. Suddenly, we’re encouraged to forgo our past and embrace a ‘New Year, New Me’ mindset. It’s just typical that we follow up a month of encouraged indulgence with a month of flagellating ourselves for engaging in that indulgence. Call me crazy, but instead of punishing ourselves for what happened in the past - maybe we should just try to cut ourselves some slack?

That said, if you simply must punish yourself in the spirit of January how about doing it in a way that feels good? Forget the self-loathing: we have a large selection of floggers, whips and paddles available for those of you in need of some discipline! The Ouch - Elegant Leather Flogger is a good place to start for beginners. It’s on the smaller side, but for flogging newbies smaller is definitely better when it comes to hitting the right spot.

Some other beginner tips to remember for flogging in the bedroom:

- Practice is key. It’s super important for the person doing the flogging to take time to get some practice in on an inanimate object first. They may feel a bit silly but this will give an idea of how to work with the flogger and avoid discomfort later.

- Find the right spot. Don’t hit the spine, tail-bone, or kidneys! However fleshier parts (like the butt) are usually a good place to start with a smaller flogger.

- Start slow. The person doing the flogging shouldn’t jump into walloping their partner. Take time to understand the connection between your movements and the flogger - become ‘one’ with the flogger, Star Wars style.

- Talk to your partner beforehand about what they want. Make sure you’re both comfortable throughout and establish and utilize a safe word if needed.

- Research, research, research - watch videos, read articles. The internet is an amazing resource for all things kink related. Our BDSM 101 guide is a wonderful place to start for the basics of this kind of play.

In short, we’re not dumping on setting goals or ‘self-improvement’ - those things are all well and good! But as humans we change and grow every day - and we’re not going to be perfect for every single one of them. Let yourself off the hook a little and if you are going to engage in some kind of punishment, at least make it the kind you can enjoy!

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