Almost all the sexual challenges are related to the body. I know this sounds so obvious, but still, when I work with my clients they are surprised how much we work with the body, checking in, realising, learning to see the signs, learning to connect, ride, change…
Of course the mind and the emotional baggage are all part of the picture, but when I want to know the truth I check into the body.
I'm not underestimating the mind. The mind is an important erotic organ and has a lots of power. But it is not everything. What you think about yourself as an erotic being and the raw truth about you as an erotic being is not totally the same thing.
How do I know this?
When I work with my clients they fill a quiz about their erotic blueprints. This is all about their desires, experiences, challenges. We get a result.
But when we are mapping their arousal, our results are not the same. The body is unapologetically “honest” and can’t be excluded from the journey to fulfilment, connection and satisfaction.
Being present, curious and open with your or your partner’s real, authentic sensations and feelings is at the foundation of everything. When you are co-operating, the body will tell the exact truth for you.
One of the tools we practice a lot is called Body Reveals. Your body gives a lot of signals every moment. You translate them as “feel good” or “feel bad”. Body reveals are different.
You identify where you feel something and then what that thing is, like:
- Warmth in your belly
- Heavy eyelids
- Shortness of breath
- Tightness in the chest…
When you are aware of what is going on in your body, you can identify patterns, underlying messages, and understand yourself and your partner better.
Maybe your partner is not really communicative about what is going on for them. The more you can be present and read the signs, the more confident you can be about what you are doing. Everybody is unique. Learning about sexuality helps a lot, but nothing compares to be really present and responsive.
This is why I made this video about how to see the signs of arousal:
Why is this important?
Because of a tool to map the arousal. The simplified version of it is the AB game.
How to play the AB game?
You compare 2 touches/sensations/dynamics, and decide which one you love better? Of course maybe you don’t like either of them. Maybe you love all of them.
- vibrations around your anus / a slap on the tights
- slowly licking the lips / pulling your hair
- pinching the nipples / light feather stroke on the nipples…
In order to help you to explore a lot of different combinations you will find a short video every Saturday on our facebook or instagram. Try them on yourself and / or with your partner, so that you can tell what exactly works for you.
Be as open as you can. Don’t decide for yourself without really trying. The more AB game you are going to do, the more you will know about your unique authentic turn-ons. So follow us on facebook and instagram, and play along.