The sex coach answers: How to awaken the g-spot

I got a question recently about the g-spot and how to make this area more sensitive and open to pleasure. She was curious and she wanted to have some practical advice to help her.

When I get a question I usually want to know more, like what have they done beforehand to feel the area? Did they use any toys? Did they explore alone or with a partner? 

Most people think that awakening the g-spot is the same as receiving pleasure in the vagina or on the clitoris, but the answer is: you have to focus on this area to awaken it, and in most cases this is actually not so pleasurable. This is why g-spot orgasms are mostly not accidental. At least not for everybody.

Your key words for g-spot awakening are:




This is why you need a harder, specially shaped dildo or a partner’s firm touch most of the time to initiate the area.

Why shouldn't you use a vibrator for the awakening of the g-spot?

When you check the key words, you may see why. 

For clearing the blocks of that area you need to feel everything. The most subtle sensations as well. The vibrations of a toy can overwrite these sensations. Later on when you have this area awakened a vibrator can be perfect, but until then you have to feel your body and nothing else.

What happens if you use your own fingers to awaken the g-spot?

Some women have success by using their own fingers. They are always handy. You know what you are doing. Close contact is important. You can feel everything. On the other hand, you have less mobility and it is challenging to give yourself the pressure that most women need for g-spot awakening.

What can your partner’s finger provide for you in g-spot exploration?


This is why a partner’s hand can provide you a bit more pressure and mobility. Of course you need trust, curiosity, presence and calmness so that you have space for real exploration, so that you feel safe to allow any reaction to happen.

What is the best toy to use for awakening the g-spot?

The best toys can have the angle to access the g-spot area, and are firm enough to provide enough pressure. Curved glass dildos are ideal for this, because they are hard and durable. Some, like the Glamour Glass Curved Wand are perfectly shaped for that. This dildo has 2 different sized ends, so that you can find the best for the task. If you want to explore cervical orgasms or de-armour the vagina and cervix, choose something like this one. 

The Icicles No 24 - Rose Tentacle dildo is less curved, but has this handle part so that you can press it firmly, plus it has lots of texture which is something most vaginas love to feel. Yes for more sensations to feel.

Look around the glass dildos by clicking here.

Metal can also be something to look for. The Sinner has the perfect shape for the task. Silicone g-spot dildos or vibrators (without the vibration on) can also be used if they are shaped perfectly and firm enough for more pressure.

Awakening the g-spot is not a “one time occasion” that you decide is going to happen now. It is more of a process of connection, feeling, massaging. It is almost like you teach the nerve endings how to have more pleasure in the area.

Massaging, thumping firmly there is going to create more sensitivity with time. But beforehand you can experience that there are numb areas there, this is going to change with time and massages.

It is very common to feel pain there before it is going to feel pleasurable. The vagina can store lots of blocks and painful knots. Just like for example your shoulders that need massage to release these painful blocks, you can have them in your vagina as well.

When you feel pain, just stay at that same place, hold the finger or the toy at that spot, and breathe into it. Deep, slow breaths. Awareness as I mentioned it in the keywords is important. Be careful and patient with yourself. Go slow. Drink enough water. Continue gradually. 

If you experience pain and you do this, the area can be more sensitive for a while afterwards, you can experience more dreams. It will pass. And as I wrote to you before, be patient. 

Maybe you will feel the need to go pee. This is also normal. Can be a sign of you being squirter. Awakening the g-spot can also open the gates for gushing and later squirting.

This is why plenty of women like to experiment with g-spot play in the bathroom, so that they feel comfortable with all the juices flowing. Or you can have a towel underneath you, when you are discovering.

It is all up to you.

So start this way.

Be present.

Be firm, but also patient.

Know that it is a process.

Allow yourself to feel.

You are clearing the blocks away.

You are teaching your body new ways for pleasure.

Listen to yourself.

And enjoy.

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