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Spanking is hot and juicy and can create this trans state when your mind is just a mush, and at the end you just feel like you want it to last forever. This is not what you think when spanking is mentioned? Then read this post and try the tips. 


You don’t need a romantic or sexual partner or even power dynamic to indulge in the cocktail of the yummiest brain chemical coming from a combination of excitement and soothing, over and over and over again inducing a trans state.


Your pelvis is full of nerve endings. Especially the cushy part that you sit on. And there is also a lot of tension in the pelvis and the spanking facilitates to release that tension.


With every hit you create vibration. Not in a small part like a bullet vibrator does. This vibration travels through the body. Incertain pose and rhythm you can move a lot of energy through the body inducing trance.


This is not about creating a lot of pain, or enduring a harsh punishment, but about sensation rippling through the body, because there is a drum, a drummer and the bliss they create together. You play with intensity and rhythm, teasing, creating peaks, soothing…


Does this sound fun?

I think it does.

And we have just started.


Oh not yet. Actually we are talking about what to do before you start. 

This spanking is all about the nervous system and how you handle being alert and then calmed down. 

And it all starts with creating the right set-up and having communication.

It doesn’t matter if you know each-other for ages. Don’t presume anything. Just go through this, so that your nervous system can feel safe and you can also allow yourself to be curious and excited.


Discussing all of this beforehand is not boring. If you are primarily sexual in your Erotic Blueprints you probably would just jump ahead. It would be a mistake.

Especially if you miss important information.

Instead you start talking, and you can feel the tingles already.

It starts to be real.

It starts to feel like something delicious is coming closer and closer every minute.


So the things to ask:


Is there anything I need to know today before we start?


And ask about injuries and medication (heart medication, alcohol, painkillers and substances can affect your senses).


It sounds obvious. But it happened to me that I asked: Is there anything I need to know before? Question, and he said: No. He got a punishment spanking (well deserved). Only after he told me he had an accident with his bike the day before, and he had pain. But he didn’t tell me. If I ask about the injuries, maybe he can recall. I felt terrible after this. I'm creative. I could have found something else to make him suffer. The same is true for a mind melting spanking. You go for optimal.


And when you take painkillers you feel the pain less, so maybe you encourage your partner to be more intense. Except that maybe you can’t sit the next day on your flight…



Are genitals going to be involved?



Spanking doesn’t need to be sexual, but it can be. The important part is to know beforehand what is on and what is off. And of course use the preferred words for genitals. Make all of this yours.



How long are you committed to do this?



If you don’t know, start with 5 minutes or 10. It is not just the hits. There is anticipation, there is a warm up, there are breaks, there is a rhythm, and you can even have toys around. And the aftercare is as important as any other elements here.


For some people 2 hours can also be a possibility. This depends on both parties involved.

You can agree on checking in after some time to see how you are doing. But always count on your judgement being altered in a trance state (and this will be a trance state for both partners), so please, be careful.


I am someone who needs a lot of time to readjust to be able to step outside to be around people. When I am playing at home and I can stay, I need less aftercare and space than when I have to physically leave the scene afterwards.



How long do you want to feel the aftereffects?



Spanking can cause marks, bruises and you can feel it the next day too. If you have to sit longer the next day go for a lighter intensity (you can still have the mind-melting:)).

Some people love to see the marks as the evidence that something actually really happened. And some people don’t. This can be your decision too. 



How do you want to feel during the scene?



Nurtured

Teased

Loved

Defiant

Scared

Excited

Humiliated?


All of the above and wherever you want to add there create a very different play. 

If you don’t know, you can start with being curious and try which works the best for you?



How do you want the scene to end?



Do you need an orgasm at the end? Or you want to meditate and create a spiritual ritual to close it? Maybe you want cuddles. And if you just want to have some space and be left alone for a bit you can ask for that too.



And of course have an agreement about safewords and communication as well.


Hence we are talking about spanking your mind into pudding, non-verbal signs are also important here. Maybe you won’t be able to talk.


It can be thumbs down, up and on the side for example.


The intensity and arousal scales also help a lot to see where exactly you are now.


I like the scale of 1 to 5.


When you are talking about arousal it can be like:


5 is orgasmic

4 is sooooooo good

3 is ok

2 is not my favourite

1 is meh


And the intensity scale is very similar:


5 is super intense, your threshold

4 hot and buzzy

3 medium intensity

2 lighter intensity

1 almost nothing.

Are you ready?


We are going to talk about the spanking itself next, the signs to look for, how to build it up to make it the yummiest.