I have to tell you something about spicing up your sex life. You have plenty of ways to do it. Your age doesn’t matter. I know plenty of people who have started to experience the best sex of their life in their sixties. Maybe you have been together a very long time. Maybe you believe that it is natural to lose passion and you can’t do anything about it, but this is not true.
Erotic expansion is possible for anybody.
You can create it.
For example organising an erotic adventure date for the 2 of you
We are going to talk about how to create an intimate and exciting date for connection and satisfaction.
Don’t follow the traditional principles… But focus on what makes your partner happy
You can find these common sense tips and tricks of the “ultimate seduction”: lighting candles, wearing sexy lingerie… if you want to spice things up. I tell you to rethink these.
The main thing I do as a sex coach is to help my clients to find what is really, authentically work for them and that can be very different from the classic principles.
So instead of trying to go with the age-old practices, examine what are your partner’s biggest turn ons?
Teasing and anticipation?
Telling your partner what to do?
Feeling free to be sexual and naked?
Like restrictions and power exchange?
Doing something that is taboo?
Into transcendental sex and eye gazing?
A romantic set-up?
Hot, passionate sex with lots of penetration?
Plenty of orgasms?
Being exposed or some mystery?
The juices of sex?
Involving the senses?
Going light and slow?
Trying a new toy?
Spontaneity or the opposite, knowing exactly what is going to happen and when?
If you think back to your best times, what are the most prominent elements? When you want to organize something that really works, use this information rather than what “should” work.
So what does really work for them?
What is really turning them on?
Give them exactly what they are craving for.
Design an unforgettable invitation card
When you invest the time to really think through your date together and don’t go with the cookie cutter solutions, your partner is going to feel valued and important.
Receiving a physical invitation on a card with some hot text/instructions is a good start.
Once I received a beautiful, hand written, date invitation card and I’m still treasuring it.
It is ok to ask for help on how to make it.
Let me show you an example:
Control the circumstances
The environmental factor is huge here. Organization is key here. Give your partner the circumstances that help them to feel safe and relaxed to open up.
The less your partner needs to worry the more they are able to be in the present moment and in their body.
What do they need to express themselves sexually?
Do they need somebody to take care of the kids?
Do they need a place where they can be as loud as it feels good for them?
Is it turning them on to have a beautiful place?
Do you want to involve others in your sex life? Communicate about the boundaries, needs and desires.
Be sure that you have the essentials that you need: lube, condoms, toys, wipes, towels, water, blankets...