More men suffer from this problem than you think - SexCoach Blog

One of the sexuality related problems men struggle with is delayed ejaculation. When they feel like it takes ages for them to ejaculate. Let’s talk about the causes and solutions. 

According to the statistics this difficulty to ejaculate approximately affects about 1-4% of the male population. Some studies estimate that this number is around 7%.

What I find very sad is whenever a man mentions delayed ejaculation they think that this is so rare, that they are quite alone with it, so usually they don’t even seek help. They know that lots of men struggle with premature ejaculation so their problem of taking long to ejaculate feels even weird to mention, and that probably nobody will understand. And to be honest this is quite close to the truth. Delayed ejaculation is one of the least studied male sexual challenges. (I’m unable to write dysfunction, because this is not how I see sexuality.)

When you look into the causes, you will find mostly explanations from a medical point of view, but in my opinion this is not the only perspective. So let’s see what these are.

Some men experience delayed ejaculation from the beginning of their sex lives, but this is the minority. Age can be a factor, because most men looking for a solution are 46 and older. And some men “only” experience DE for a period of time in their lives. 

Many times DE can be caused as a side effect from a medication. Hormonal changes can also be responsible for elusive orgasms, so can injuries or operations that are affecting your nerves connected to your genitals. 

Another explanation is often about masturbation. Self-pleasure is not a problem itself, but how you go about it. When you reinforce a certain pattern to get off the same way over and over again. The same pressure, the same touch, the same sensation, especially if you are watching porn, so your attention is not on your body and feelings, but on a mindspace instead. So when you go for something different your body feels different, and you can’t come.
This is why variety, changes in position, practicing to connect to your body can prevent losing your orgasm. It is possible to change your pattern and open up your erotic potential, but it takes time.

There can be a lot of emotional causes as well. Stress can create ejaculatory challenges, including being afraid to cause a pregnancy. Shame affects how you respond to pleasure and orgasms. Your emotional state, resentment and relations can also be a big part of how and when you ejaculate (or not). I personally know several men who were able to change this condition by working on emotional charges and changing patterns. 

Whatever it is that works differently from how you want it, you are not alone and if you want to change look for support, including medical screening and emotional work.