I know the tips the couples usually get about how to have that electrifying, juicy connection and they have had at the beginning. The problem is that they don’t really work.
Don’t get me wrong, candles are amazing to create a more sensual mood. Massages are yummy and can help to relax more into sex. Scheduling a date night can help to increase the frequency of sex.
But would this be all? And is this enough for you to have that electrifying buzz when you think about your next time together. Does your heart jumps all over the place when you think back the last sex?
And most people just accept this as the inevitable fate of a relationship. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can be the one who knows how to create more alchemy and arousal whenever you want.
How can you create that magnetic passion again (or for the first time)?
My answer is Adventure Dating. No, I don’t say here to go to an adventure park for a date (however that can be a part of it…).
And I know even the word dating can be triggering for some people. Especially if you have just done the same things over and over again. This will be different, I promise.
Why are Adventure Dates different from “normal” dates?
It has 3 foundational elements that make all the difference, so that at the end you can’t take your hands off of each other, regardless of what stage your relationship is in. :)
Giving them a hand written invitation with the details and instructions is tangible and inspirational. It also shows that you have prepared and made an effort. They can also save it as a nice memory and/or these invitation cards are amazing to brag about.
And by the way Adventure Dates are for any gender. It is not “just” the man who can organise one.
The 3 foundational elements of a passion igniting Adventure Date are:
Mystery: Be mysterious and don’t share all the details beforehand. Let them guess. You can tell for example when and where you meet, but not the final destination. Adventure dates are longer and usually have more programs planned to keep everything going. So you can describe what to expect, but leave out some details. Make it a bit of a riddle for them.
Of course you can add instructions for them about practical things, like bringing a swimsuit with you.
If you plan to use a new toy, don’t tell which toy exactly you will bring. Let them guess.
Obstacle: A well chosen obstacle creates distance and some tension in a good way. When things are not granted and you have to work for something a bit, you become more curious, more focused and more present. It can be just only meeting in the restaurant but both sitting at the bar like if you would meet at the first time.
Or you can have a no kiss rule and you can tease them. Or not using a certain word or they will be punished… It is all up to your creativity and your partner’s map of arousal.
Or wearing a vibrator but you have the remote control while you are out.
Novelty and/or Naughtiness: What about buying a new dress for them to wear on your date? And they will open it just beforehand? Or a new toy that you will use for the first time?
A new place they have never been before? Anyways this is about something new to do or wear or feel or experience.
The more you know your lover, the more successful your Adventure Date is going to be. So their Erotic Blueprint gives you a lot of information. And if you follow the tips in my post about dirty talking, you know exactly what kinds of words turn them on and what to avoid. Check my posts here.
And of course some people (especially Sensuals) need a lot of details to feel safe and prepared otherwise they won’t be able to relax into the experience. So give them practical details and time frames. But not everything. Have some space for mystery, just know what they really need to know.
Why is this a recipe for long lasting passion?
Because you already have a foundation (this is your connection) and consciously add new elements to create anticipation and excitement. When there is more for you to do together that opens the gate for more desire, intimacy and orgasms.
Get out of the usual and plan some unexpected juicy time together so that both of you can be super excited about what is coming.