Some years ago I attended a 3-day pleasure workshop in LA. I was alone for 6 months at that time. I had a super exciting sex life before that, and breaking up at that time also meant that I lost this. And I wanted the juice, the playfulness, the excitement, the satisfaction back.
So I went to the workshops, and it hit me that I can have what I’m craving for even alone. That this period in my life is perfect for an erotic expansion. I can experiment, trying out things without worrying about anybody else’s opinion. I don’t need anybody’s support. There are no expectations. I am free to do whatever I want. And something new opened up.
If you are alone now with your desires, I want to support you. Maybe you are single, or maybe you have a partner but a non satisfactory sex life. You have amazing options. Let’s start with the essentials.
Learn your arousal map
Knowing what exactly is turning you on, is one of the best thing that can happen to you and your sex life and your masturbation.
Did you have some sex experiences when everything was exactly how “sex should be”, and you still didn’t feel satisfied? This happens when your erotic needs are not fulfilled. And this is different from person to person. Stay with me, read the blog, and you are going to explore what is exactly satisfying you, and how to get that.
Keep your “essential pleasure pack” close to you
What does the essential pleasure pack mean? It is all about what you need for a juicy masturbation/self pleasure session.
Everybody should have some lube and tissues around so whenever you decide it is playtime, you don’t need to look further. Of course this is just the minimum.
I have 4-5 toys, a toy cleaner, massage oil in my drawer next to me. Hence I’m a squirter, I have my vinyl sheets and some towels close as well, and my toy box very close to me.
Most people keep their toys too far away and not easily accessible, so mostly they just choose not to get them, and just go with the same thing over and over and over again. This is the stuff that is keeping you ok, but not super excited. Having variety and some options around helps a lot to spice things up.
Create a challenge for yourself
I can thank a lot to challenges I’ve done. This is more about building skills and expand your erotic potentials.
You can decide to play with edging yourself, so that you can last longer and have more intense orgasms.
You can choose to have full body pleasure instead of focusing on your genitals.
What about focusing on some part of your body and experimenting with different sensations?
Have you thought about choosing very different fantasies than usual to explore what is there?
What if you choose a different position for self pleasure or even focus more on movement and how awesome moving feels?
If you struggle to have self pleasure regularly, can you have a time frame for doing it, like having 10 minutes of dedicated pleasure time every day?
Have you tried to expand your orgasms?
Did you know that you can wire different body parts to orgasms? (Like nipples, throat…)
Try a new sex toy
The more variety you can create for yourself, the more pleasure you can get.
I’m always shocked, when people tell me, that having sex toys is the proof that you are not enough in bed. I see this totally differently.
We find it normal to buy toys for our kids, because they keep them entertained, and they are learning and thriving when they are playing. You don’t tell children not to have toys, because they should just play alone and be totally happy with this.
Sex toys are toys for adults and they are for play and creating pleasure with them. They can help you to give something different, and they can inspire you.
Try something new, something that is making you curious and excited. Don’t choose according to what you “should” have, but what has the most “juice” for you.
(This is why I chose the Rebel Rechargeable Plug, and I haven’t regretted it.)
Use your self-play time to thrive and get the satisfaction that you want.