I can thank a lot for connecting to my breasts and building more intimacy and taking better care for myself. My sensitivity has increased for the best. 10 years ago I thought my chest was kind of numb. I haven’t even dreamt about orgasmic tits. I was able to change this. And so can you. It is a process and it is going to take time to build even more sensitivity, connection, intimacy, but it definitely worth it.
Erotic self-massage is different from the classic breast massage. It doesn’t have a structure or how you should touch your-self.
It is all about connection, self-discovery, self-nourishment and intimacy.
It is about slowing down and giving yourself what you want.
And if you don’t know what you want, this is one of the best rituals - play to build a more stable channel for yourself to feel more.
Building sensitivity and being with yourself in the raw truth of your deepest desires is a skill. It is all about being present, spending quality time, and teaching your nervous system new pathways to relaxation and pleasure.
So this massage is about you, and what would feel good for you at that moment.
It doesn’t need to be a whole, long ritual, it can also be “just” 5 minutes that you spend with yourself, with your breasts. And however plenty of my suggestions don't really feel like you are doing a massage, I consider them part of the massage. You can call this self-pleasure or self-nourishment or self-intimacy.
I’m going to give you inspiration, so that you can start to really explore without expectations and agendas.
It is totally fine if you “fall out” of the connection or find yourself checking out of the experience or you escape into your head/thoughts. Just acknowledge what is happening and refocus on what you are feeling and what the sensations are in your body. Don’t judge yourself. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, numb or even resistant. The least you fight it the easier it is going to be to come back and feel yourself. You build resilience, self-acceptance and intimacy.
I really like to create a welcoming environment. Lighting a candle. I especially like a massage candle like this, it takes about 20 minutes for the candle to melt enough oil for a nice, warm massage. You can use coconut oil (you can warm it in the microwave), apricot kernel oil, macadamia oil, I like the Sliquid Rejuvenation massage oil as well… But it is totally fine not to use massage oil. You have plenty of other options. If you play with feathers or any textile, pour the oil only after you finish the play, or they will stick into the oil.
I put on some music that helps me to relax. My favourites for a relaxing and energetic massage are:
Craig Pruess & Ananda - Devi Prayer
Essie Jain - The Rising
Jane Winther, Raman Marharjan - Voice of Eternity
Of course your music can be not relaxing, but hot and sexy or dark and thrilling… You don’t have to follow any rules. This is your breast massage according to your needs and turn-ons. Experiment and allow yourself to be moody.
You can play naked or in lingerie or in clothes. Sometimes you can enjoy touch or other sensations more when you have a layer over your chest. You can take this layer off with time if this is what feels better for you. Or start naked and cover yourself later. If you are kinky maybe you want to wear a harness or use a breast bondage. There are no rules.
When you are ready to go deeper, find a comfortable position. Stretch or move around. It is ok to experiment. I know it can feel weird to look for your position if you haven’t used to give yourself this freedom. Allow yourself to feel weird. You are doing something new. :)
When you have your “nest” focus on your body. Feel the sensations. Focus on the temperature, the materials around you, the comfort, the stability, the sounds, the scents…
Feel yourself breathing in.
Exhale in your rhythm.
This is your time.
And you can spice it up, if you find this boring, and you are not into relaxation. Maybe you want to move and not relax. That is ok too.
And if you don’t know what would feel good, just try random things from here, without expectation, just for the sake of knowing how you react. With time you are going to feel that you have a toolbox to reach for and you will be more relaxed into pleasure.
- You can just imagine to massage your breasts - I know this sounds odd to some people, but if you are highly energetic in your erotic wiring you are going to love this
- You can imagine that somebody else is massaging your breasts -feel free to imagine anybody that you want or even more people
- You can just put your palm or palms to any part of your breasts that you want and hold them there. You can play with the pressure. If you feel that you want to move your hand after a while, do that
- Use just your fingertips as you are stroking yourself slowly and very lightly. Even lighter and slower
- Play with your fingertips imitating raindrops on your skin
- Cup your breasts and hold them. Maybe you want to push them more together
- Scratch your skin
- Kneed your breasts
- Use a vibrating bullet and play around
- Use a clit sucking toy on your nipples
- Use the centre of your palm over your nipples
- Pinch your skin
- Pour massage oil over your cleavage and rub it in slowly or more intensely
- Tender touches all over your skin. Use your knuckles and the top part of your fingers
- Light strokes with a feather
- Move a furry material around
- If you have a pinwheel play with it
- Hoover your palm over your skin - this is an energetic touch, and plenty of people can really feel it (or have full body orgasms from it), and find it super arousing or very comforting. Play with the distance between the skin and your palm
I like to stop this play slowly and consciously, allowing myself to slowly say goodbye, and give some closure to the play.
Of course there are way more options, try them. Awaken your breasts and enjoy your body, your presence.