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What can you do when you want more?

What can you do when you want to create a juicy and satisfying sex life but you just don’t know how?

What can you do when you are willing to work on your sex life but you need help?


If you are not ready yet to ask for professional help you can learn about sexuality, read books or you can do the 3 minute game.


Why?


Because it sounds easy and short but at the same time it is very effective and can change how you show up in your sex life, how you give and how you receive.


Even though the 3 minutes game was created for couples, you have options to play it even if you don’t have a partnered sex life. You can play the game with a friend or somebody who is ready to build some skills. The game doesn’t need to involve your genitals and you don’t even have to play it naked. So “just” because your options are limited, you can profit from all the benefits.



What are the benefits of the 3 minute games?



You can master communication

You can be aware of your boundaries

You can practise to know what you really want

And you can practise asking for it in a safe environment dedicated to exploration



What do you need to play?



A timer set up for 3 minutes: When you have a timeframe for your game you are free from any expectation related to a result. All you have to do is to stay present for 3 minutes and not to reach a state or a goal. Most people feel more free when the end of the game is not attached to an end result other than the 3 minutes are over. Also it is usually less challenging to find 3 minutes than to find “some time” to reach a result.



An open, safe place for exploration: This is so essential that most people tend to forget about it. But if you can’t have this, your chances to “succeed” are pretty low. So before you start the game, clarify that the “goal” is to have this game to explore and play without judgement. And this includes you too, not “just” your partner. Self-judgement and shame can block your arousal, so as having agendas. The good news is that the more time you can spend in a safe place for exploration the more pleasure you will be able to experience.


Will this always be hot and satisfying? 


To be honest, not necessarily. You will have times when your reactions will be different than what you expected or you will feel that you don’t know what to do. And even though thai sounds bad, actually these times can help you as partners to build more trust. You can feel that you are accepted even when things don’t go as expected.


And lots of other times you will really enjoy yourself. New gates are going to open for you.


Are you ready for an adventure?


Here is what to do:


Ask your partner:


What do you want to do to me for 3 minutes?


And


What do you want me to do to you for 3 minutes?


One question at a time.

(You will go back and forth, also so you are going to be a giver and receiver as well.)


So imagine this:


You and your partner are playing.


And your partner asks you:

What do you want me to do to you for 3 minutes?



And you look for the answer inside of you.


Maybe you just want to sit there cuddling.

Maybe you want them to massage your scalp.

Maybe you want slow, sensual kisses…

Maybe you want to experiment with receiving different kinds of touches.


This is about you now. 

Which can be challenging sometimes. But with practice this can be easy to focus on and know exactly what you want.


Your partner can say no. “Just” because you asked for something it is not mandatory for them to provide what you asked for. And this is also true to you when you are on the giver. It is up to you to say yes or no. And you look for common ground.


Maybe you want your partner to kiss and stroke your neck lightly. Maybe they are ok with kissing but they don’t like stroking your neck now. It is up to you if you accept “only” kisses or choose something else instead.


When you agree on what is next, you start the timer. You can give feedback maybe you want your partner to go slower or faster and you can ask this. Or maybe after one minute you want them to massage your inner thighs. 



When the time is over you stop.

Thank them for what they did. And ask them: 


What do you want to do to me for 3 minutes?


And wait for their answers.


Maybe they will want to hold you tight.

Maybe they will want to see you naked, putting you into poses and just watching you.

Maybe they will want to spank you…


And as you already know you can say no or have boundaries. Maybe it is ok for you to let them watch you but you want to wear lingerie…



And then it is your time to ask.


I wish you a juicy and satisfying game time.