A hot & kinky game not just for beginners
Games are good tools to explore new pathways to pleasure and talk about desires and boundaries with a bit less risk than “just” talking about them. Playfulness, inspiration and safety are strong pillars for more satisfaction and aliveness. This is why I like trying and testing the games around. Some are lighter, like the Oral Fun. The Discover Your Lover 100% Kinky is more than that. The box itself is a good size and a bit on a heavier side.
What is in the Discover Your Lover Kinky Edition box?
When I opened the box there was a game rules sheet, a dice and 120 Questions cards and 120 Task cards both in 3 different “levels”.
Some of the questions are about general knowledge, some about discovering. Most tasks can be done right away, but some tasks are for later, so playing can be a prolonged option not “just” a date thing. It is up to you which cards you choose and which not.
I think this is such a good idea and can be very inspirational, a real way to spice up your sex life.
Is this game made for heterosexual couples?
I find it sad that it is created only for hetero cis couples in mind. So many of the tasks could be described in ways that are not heteronormative. You are still able to play if you are not a cis-hetero couple, but I understand that this can be off putting.
The tasks are separated into tasks for men and tasks for women, when in most cases “just” using a different language could have created an amazing potential regardless of the gender and sexual orientation.
The game is designed for couples only.
What is the case with power dynamics?
When it is about power dynamics the cards actually are pretty diverse and there is no presumption of male dominant - female submissive, it gives you freedom to explore different dynamics and I personally find this very refreshing. Of course if you want to play it in a more defined way, you have the chance to go through the cards and separate the tasks that you are not up to or put it between your partners cards.
Can this game be personalised?
The good part is that you can personalise this game pretty easily, if you decide too. Even the rules give you lots of space hence the winner of the game is going to have their fantasy scenario fulfilled. The tasks require you to go through them before your first play, so that you can discuss, eliminate tasks or spice them in any way that fits you and your toolbox better,
Do you need any special equipment to play?
According to the game rules it is good to have around: “massage oil, lubricant, blindfold (or scarf), a shoestring, good music and clean clothespins”. You actually need more things especially for some bondage like tasks. I would never recommend using a shoestring for bondage, it is much safer to use bondage tape, rope or cuffs instead. And of course if you have toys, you can add to the tasks easily.
What else should you do as preparation?
I agree with the rules about trusts, mutual respect, safety and hygiene are at the heart of the game. Frequent check-ins are essential and agreeing on the signals during the game is also a foundational part. This doesn’t only mean to use safewords, but also being clear about intensities and your present state like using colours and a scale of numbers.
How long does the game last?
This game can be a hot and juicy initiation for a date night, but as i wrote it before some tasks are for later and some can even last a whole day, so that you can have some build up and an exciting intimate time.
You collect points by delivering the tasks satisfactorily and answering questions, so even though you don’t necessarily have a lot of time on your hand in the present moment, you can play along over a period of time, which I personally really liked about this game. I like how free and exciting it actually feels to play and at the same provides a lot of options for communication and mutual exploration.
I personally recommend to journal and take notes about how you felt, so that you can acknowledge your boundaries, limitations, turn-ons, unexpected reactions and enjoy how you expand into being more kinky.
What about aftercare?
The game doesn't mention anything about aftercare, while I think it is a good idea to calculate that in your game too so that you can ground yourself and integrate your experience better. Aftercare is also a good way to build more trust, safety and connection in yourself and in your relationships too.
Later on give yourself time and space to talk about what you experienced during the game and give feedback to each other.
I personally find that these games can inspire more juicy and exciting journeys if you play with an open mind, playfulness and curiosity.