I hear you. You want it hot, passionate and fresh. You want to think of the next sex and feel that tension in your stomach already. And you can get it. And of course it is not just about the toys. There is a lot that you can do. Especially if you read the posts about the Erotic Blueprints and find out what exactly is satisfying and fulfilling to you.
But don’t underestimate what toys can do for you.
And whenever I talk about sex toys, most people think about vibrators. They are the first one in most people's pleasure toolbox. What else is there for you?
Pinwheels are these tools with a rotating head with spikes. The metal ones can be cooled down a bit too. You can have them with more than one head, and if you want something lighter, the plastic ones are surprisingly good too.
Please use your discernment when you try it. Pinwheels are not supposed to be used on the head of the penis, over the clitoris and other very sensitive ideas. When the wheels are used well, they wake the body up, you feel more. And this is not necessarily about creating pain.
Look for the sweet spot (the right pressure), and this can be different at different parts of the body.
I’m sure you experience this too… trying to find the angle that works. But it just becomes a struggle. And you decide to use a pillow to help. And maybe it gets better, just not what you wanted. And you just deal with it. The challenge is that the more you deal with the less you are able to allow yourself to relax and enjoy the moment. I know, some people are actually struggling so I don’t want to take this away from you if you are one of them. Then use the love cushions/wedges to create challenge and more struggle. That is possible too. :)
The main point is that wedges can multiply your options for positions. They are comfy, waterproof and provide a good support for you and your creativity. Did I mention that you can have them with cuffs, so that you make your kinky fantasies come true.
Sexy games can solve 2 of the main challenges of couples:
Being afraid to communicate freely and without shame. The longer you are together, the harder it can be to be open about desires that you have had. You take a big risk when you expose a fantasy to your partner and they react negatively. It is hard to act like it has never happened.
The sexy games can open the door for communication. When you allow yourself to be open to discover new things, and come from the place of experience and you communicate about the experience you had, there is less pressure and it is not initiated by you. That can support a change that starts in smaller steps, and you can be honest without exposing yourself totally.
The other good thing is, that you can be inspired by the games and try new things that maybe you haven’t even thought about. Whenever I help people to discover their arousal map, they find things that they enjoy, but have never thought they are really into them.
What you think that you are into and what you are really into are not always the same things.
Being restricted can feel super juicy. Shackles and cuffs can allow you to lose control, feel powerless and stay out of your head. Your senses are amplified. You are open. And aroused. You don’t know what is going to happen the next moment. Or after that.
Ropes can be very sexy but you have to learn how to use them properly and bondage takes time and patience. But what if you would have cuffs and shackles already there for you, ready to be used anytime.
When you have the bondage system under the mattress you “just” take the cuffs out reach for the wrists and ankles and voila…
Or maybe you can wrestle for who is going to be restricted tonight. Maybe you will be the one in bondage, or maybe you will be the one free to do whatever you want. (Of course always have a safeword.)
Not everybody is into kinks. Some people are all about ease and sensations. They love to feel the warmth of an other body. The skin sliding on the other skin. There is so much freedom in this. The weight of the other body helps to down-regulate the nervous system and you can become more relaxed and open to receive, because you feel safe.
Nuru gel feels especially amazing when both parties are using them. You are able to use not “only” your hand but your whole body to create this state of calmness and openness. You can “just” slide and enjoy the sensations.
Of course nuru gel is not only for body on body massage, but any kind of massage as well. It is thick and slippery. Like a lot of lube.
Also you don’t have to worry about stains, hence it is waterbased.
Vibrators are amazing, but they are not your “only” options to have more pleasure and excitement. Create those mind-blowing experiences for the both of you or even alone with something new and different.