Orgasm, coming, climaxing, le petit mort. The peak (and sometimes elusive) moment of many sexual encounters. Whether by yourself or with others, most sexually active people hope to achieve that one shuddering moment of pure ecstasy and questionable noises.

But what is an orgasm, really?

Actually no one is 100% sure. A medical doctor shall explain it as a series of muscle contractions in the genital region followed by the release of endorphins in the brain, whereas a psychologist might say it has basis in an emotional response. Negative feelings, like anxiety or anger, can make an orgasm unobtainable while feeling happy and safe can make climaxing easier.



The male orgasm can be obvious as it tends to end in ejaculation, though men can have a “dry orgasm” where they have all the sensations of an orgasm without the ejaculation.

Men go through various stages to reach orgasm.

Arousal where the penis becomes erect.

Plateau where his body reaches peak arousal and becomes ready for orgasm.

Then there is the orgasm itself. There are quick contractions of the muscles around the penis and anus as ejaculation occurs.The nerves that are causing the muscles to contract are also sending messages to the pleasure part of the brain.

After an orgasm, a man will lose his erection and it will take a certain length of time before they can achieve another. The usual time is half an hour but it can vary from man to man, taking into account factors such as age, health and stimuli.

Men can achieve orgasm through masturbation, foreplay, intercourse and even prostate play.



The female orgasm can be similar to the male orgasm as they follow the same pattern of arousal, where the woman's body gets ready for sexual activity, plateau, where the arousal reaches the point of orgasm and orgasm, where the muscles around the vagina, pelvic floor and anus contract as pleasure signals are sent back to the brain. After an orgasm it is possible for women to climax again in a short space of time. However, not much is known about the female orgasm. Mens orgasms make biological sense as sperm is needed to fertilise an egg but people of the medical community are still unsure as to why women orgasm.This has led to some very suspect theories up to and including that the female orgasm does not exist!

They very much do and they can be achieved through masturbation, foreplay and intercourse. Some women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation, some can only orgasm through penetration, but both are valid.



Apart from feeling awesome there are many benefits both physical and mental that are attributed to orgasms. 

  1. It boosts your immune system.
  2. It increases your pain threshold.
  3. It can help women regulate their menstrual cycle AND can help alleviate cramps.
  4. You’ll feel happier due to the wonderful endorphins.
  5. Orgasms can help you look younger thanks to the release of the human growth hormone
  6. It has been proven that achieving an orgasm with your partner can bring you closer together.


Orgasms can be Earth stopping and there are many benefits to having an orgasm, however, they are not the be all and end all. Having an orgasm does not denote good sex, while not having one does not mean the encounter was bad or boring. Lots of factors can be attributed to whether you can orgasm or not. Physical health and mental health can be very important, stress can be a major cause of not climaxing.Sometimes it might be a case of discovering what you like, sometimes the reason might need investigation. Just remember the journey can  be as fun as the destination.

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