Question: Why is it that women who use sex toys are sexually healthy and expressive but men who do are lonely, creepy and weird?
Answer: Of course men aren’t! Nobody is, but there is a stigma around the use of male sex toys. Sex and The City brought the Rampant Rabbit out of the secret drawer into the mainstream whereas films such as Lars and The Real Girl showed us that the type of man who buys a sex doll is lonely and incapable.
Evidence of mens toys being less mainstream can be found with how long it took for them to improve. Having sex dolls manufactored at the beginning of the 20th century that were described as cheap and nasty, to the “pocket pussies” that were more prevalent in the 1960s, it wasn’t until 1995 that masturbators were taken seriously. This was the invention of the Fleshlight. Better materials were being used, they were more realistic in look and feel and they were made to look as discreet as possible.
To buy a sex toy, any sex toy, a man can be seen to be less than. This is the double standard. A woman buys a sex toy to explore her sexuality, a man buys one because he cannot get the real thing. This is completely ludicrous. Men should be able to experiment, explore, discover and pleasure themselves in any manner they like without their masculinity being called into question. While it does seem to be acceptable for a man to use toys with his partner, it is toys for solo use that appear to be taboo. Not to mention the prostate massagers or butt plugs, if used by a heterosexual male, can have his sexual identity called into question.
The idea of a man going into a sex shop for himself still conjurs up images of the dirty old man in a dark and dingy shop so is it any wonder that many men feel uncomfortable with shopping for a sex toy? The advent of online shopping has given men access to discreet methods of receiving their purchases, but they find themselves time and again having to defend owning and using whatever they would like.
This is the double standard.
Sex toys were created for everyone, of all genders, orientations, fetishes and proclivities. Sex toys add fun, can spice things up and allow people to discover new ways of feeling pleasure. The use of toys doesn’t take away from anyone's masculinity or femininity, they are not a substitute for a real person (though some people prefer toys), what they are is fun.