PlayBlue Returns - In Real Life

We really have a simple mantra when it comes to returns - What will make this right?

That is different to the old mantra of the customer is always right because honestly they aren’t, but the overwhelming majority of customers who have an issue with an order are honest and just need our help and support. 

We want your PlayBlue experience to be good but we also have to be fair in how we deal with problems. I personally think our returns policy is the best in the world. It is not as formulaic as some and it is a little loose on purpose. We want the wiggle room to just sort problems out without referring to an arbitrary rule book.

How returns Work

So let me outline how PlayBlue returns generally work.

Scenario - Joanne gets a little tipsy on the old Chardonnay Friday night watching Gossip Girls on Netflix and with a rush of blood orders the latest Lovense Lush 3. A brilliant vibrator that will bring Joanne endless orgasms but it is not the cheapest vibrator we sell by a long shot. Quickly Joanne realises that the €159 she just spent is actually a good chunk of her rent. Joanne emails us apologising and asking to cancel.

Result - We arrive in Saturday morning see the email cancel and refund the order no harm and we hope the hangover is not too bad.

Other Result - If Joanne doesn’t realise about the rent until Saturday afternoon and emails us then. Unfortunately it will already have been shipped. If Joanne lives in Dublin she will receive it in a few hours. So Joanne will have to ship the order back to us unopened and we will refund her order no problem.

Even another Result - If Joanne decides Fuck it orgasms are more important and rips open the Lovense and loves it then 2 weeks later ready to go again it just stops working - WTF. Joanne fills out our returns form and we may ask her to take a photo of the item or ask her for a description of the issue but assuming Joanne isn’t a serial broken toy customer we will generally just apologise then ask her to bin the item and send her credit to purchase a replacement.

Yet another possible Result - Joanne has been loving her Lovense for 19 months, an almost nightly obsession that is rapidly becoming unhealthy. The Lovense finally gives up the ghost after delivering literally hundreds of nights, and some days of passion. Joanne, angry but really just frustrated, emails us looking for a replacement for her broken passion. This is where ‘the fairs fair bit’ comes in. Unfortunately our returns policy has time limits and we are sure you’ll understand that this is only fair. We apologise to Joanne and tell her unfortunately her Lovense has had a good run but all things must come to an end and maybe it is time to invest in an upgrade.

Final possible Result - Joanne receives her Lovense but knows that the rent must be paid but just can’t resist and opens it and has a sneaky play. Through tears and sobs Joanne carefully washes and repacks and sends it back to us. Unfortunately for Joanne we have been in this game for a very long time and all returns are super carefully checked with any indication a toy has been opened the return has to be rejected. We will NEVER stock any product with even the slightest whiff of doubt. We contact Joanne to tell her and almost breathless with relief she’s delighted when we ship it back to her.  

Our returns are about making problems go away and dealing with customers in a fair and easy manner. We want happy customers who will shop safely in the knowledge that if things don’t work out we have your back.

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