I’m just back from a week in France with friends walking the Camino. I’d never done the Camino before and it was magical. You have nothing to think about all day except the amazing scenery, what’s for lunch and putting one foot in front of the other. Plenty of time to think and just slow down. It really helps you realise that we let too much crap in our daily lives get in the way of what we really enjoy.
This is true for everyone, you are not alone. We slump on the couch watching crap on TV that really is more about passing time comfortably and not actively trying to do stuff we enjoy. I love walking and listening to audiobooks and podcasts. I love cycling and swimming and puzzles and cooking and music. I love silliness and nonsense and dancing and playing games and my family. I know it’s all a bit frivolous and I should love Philosophy and Climate Activism and World Peace which are all vitally important but day to day we need to make the world around us a tiny bit better and do stuff we enjoy doing whatever they are. Don’t spend it passing time. I really need to consciously make time everyday for these delights and this is the way for me to get the most out of my life.
We all do this in our love life's too. We fit lovemaking into our busy schedule of TV watching, work and family chores. I know I love my sex life and it is an important part of my life. I know it makes me happier and less stressed and strengthens the connection with my wife. This should be a core part of our day/week. When you finally get time with your partner don’t start with the thought right I have 9 minutes just take your time and do what comes naturally. Look if you spend only 20 minutes three times a week making love with your partner that is only an hour a week. You spend more time on the toilet or emptying the dishwasher. Surely you can drop an hour of Instagram a week to make this a reality. This will make every aspect of your life better from self confidence to happiness.
If you are single at the minute the exact same applies. Spend the time masturbating but don’t just knock one out. Self love is vital but take the time to enjoy it and feel what you are doing.
If there is one thing the Camino has taught me is the most enjoyable bit is the journey not the destination. We all need to slow down in our sex lives and enjoy the journey, not just the orgasm.
P.S. (The sales bit - Use Sex Toys too they are so much fun!)