Do something every day that scares you...like Fisting.

Listen, when it comes to getting it on, there’s not much we’re scared of at PlayBlue. Have you seen our product range?! We’re pretty narsty. 

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some sexual activities that make us…a little unsettled. It’s natural to feel a bit wary about some things - and vaginal fisting is right at the top of that list for us. But in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt you should do one thing every day that scares you. So, on that note; let’s figure out the sex act that kind of seems like you’re into wearing your partner like some kind of deranged, oversized sock puppet together. (I’m so sorry for dragging you into this filth, Eleanor Roosevelt.)

All joking aside, fisting has quite the stigma around it - it’s seen as more dangerous and dirtier than other sexual exploits and frankly, it’s just not.The name doesn’t help these connotations either - fisting sounds pretty violent. However, you might be slightly surprised to learn that fisting is nothing like punching. For one, there’s not that much motion involved and two, your hand won’t actually be in a fist shape. Fisting is kinky, but it’s not ‘punching-your-partner-in-the-vagina’ kinky. That’s a whole different blog.

Before you start a session where you intend on fisting, the fister should wash their hands and trim their nails. They could also consider wearing gloves or condom on their hand - especially if there are any cuts or sores on there - but if both partners have been tested recently, or you don’t mind sharing fluids this isn’t a necessity.

The main tools required for fisting (aside from the obvious hands) are communication, lube and patience - which I would recommend for all sexual encounters anyway. When I say lube, I mean buckets of lube. Reapplication is your friend.

Foreplay is also your friend in this situation. Go slow and really take the time to build up your partner’s arousal - the more turned on they are, the wetter they will be and the easier it will be to get a whole hand inside them. Start with one or two fingers and slowly work up to having all four in there at once. When you think you’re both ready, add more lube and begin to slowly work in your thumb. Your hand should be positioned like you’re making a duck head - 4 fingers on top, thumb on bottom. This position keeps the hand as narrow as possible.

Once the fister’s thumb is in, they can begin to use gentle pressure to push in further. This is where communication is really key - if you’re the fistee don’t be afraid to ask for what you need - more lube, less speed etc, but it is also up to the fister to pay attention to their partner and respond accordingly. Fisting is very intense, but it’s not supposed to hurt - so if it is, stopping and resetting is not a bad idea.

It’s also not a quick process. The goal is to gently manoeuvre a full hand inside someone, not (as we mentioned earlier) to punch the vagina. Getting past the knuckles is the hardest part as you’re slowly pressing in it’s so important to keep adding lube and to keep up communication. Once you’re past the knuckles there will be a moment where the vagina kind of sucks and vacuum seals you in. Congrats - you’re fisting!  

So you’re in a vagina up to your wrist - fantastic, but what do you do once you’re in there? The number one thing is be gentle. You’re in a precarious position and one wrong move could really hurt your partner. Try some very gentle thrusting, or some rotation. Try curling your fingers up towards their gspot, or even just wiggling them around a little bit. Try using a vibrator on the clit at the same time. Don’t be afraid to experiment - but remember that the fister needs to continue to be mindful of their partner and move with, not against them.

This goes doubly for removing your hand.When you’re ready to take it out, return it to the duck shape and slowly begin to work your way back. Don’t pull out suddenly and don’t panic. Remember things are meant to come out of there and so too will your hand!

So, after all that: why do people actually like fisting? Well, the feeling of intense pressure and fullness is nothing to scoff at. But it’s also a really intimate act that requires a lot of communication and attention between two partners, so that doesn’t hurt either. It is a good way to hit the Gspot - and there is the added stigma that makes it seem extra naughty. It can be an incredibly emotional act too though, so don’t forget lots of aftercare for your partner if they need it.

Hopefully we all learned something about fisting today - and by we I mean: me, you and the angry ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt who is definitely going to haunt me after referencing her in this blog.

 If you feel like trying fisting, don’t forget our PlayBlue Lube or if you’re riding solo but still want to give it a go, why not get one of these bad boys?