I got this question on instagram. And it is an important question.
Is watching porn really bad for you?
And the answer is not a simple yes or no. It depends on a lot of things, so let me go deeper and explain why and how.
I start by saying that I watch porn (filthy and kinky porn to be more precise). This of course doesn’t make watching porn better or worse, I just wanted to demonstrate that I’m not against porn in general, and my intention is to give you a clear picture about what is happening when you are watching porn and how you can avoid to get stuck and limit your erotic potential by it, because this can happen too.
What is good about watching porn?
- You can be inspired and find things that you want to try in real life.
- You can also gain information and learn new tricks.
- You can realize that you are not alone with your desires, and feel less shame about what is turning you on.
What can cause limitations when you are watching porn?
What you see in porn is not necessarily true. I know that this is nothing new to you, you know this. And at the same time the more you are watching it, the more you buy into the illusion.
I speak to a lot of people, whose expectations about their bodies, penis size, arousal, orgasms… are coming from porn, and are creating lots of pressure and false beliefs around how you should look like, react, what should make you happy, what should make your partner happy…
The more of your sex education is coming from porn, the more probable is that you have lots of it an illusion rather than real knowledge.
False information is also taking away your chance to find the real knowledge, hence you think, you already know, what you have to know.
What can you do about this?
Question what you think you know, and be open to experience and explore. Be present, curious and bold.
Getting off to porn is easy. You don’t challenge yourself. You won’t work on becoming a better lover or building skills or developing. Most people learns from porn how to put the least effort in their sexuality, so their erotic potential diminishes with time rather than flourishes.
You are also disconnecting from your body and your sensations while you are watching porn. The more you have a “usual way” to masturbate to porn, the less you are feeling your whole body. This behaviour with time is making you losing a lot of your “wiredness” for pleasure.
What can you do about these?
Don’t let yourself be closed to a small box. Do things differently from time to time. Even just changing your position is awakening your nervous system, and opening you up. Use a variation of sex toys rather than one toy, and involve other parts as well, not “just” your genitals.
As I said at the beginning, porn is not the enemy. If you use it wisely it can open new doors for you, light your fantasies up and serve you on your hot, erotic journey.
Do you want to create the juiciest, most satisfying sex life? Let me support you. Ask your question at sexcoach@playblue.ie