Part 2: The healthy way to optimise your sexual performance - SexCoach Blog

Having a strong erection and lasting longer in bed can be achieved with the right techniques and building skills. This is part 2 of The healthy way to optimise your sexual performance. 

Click here for the first part.

Muscle control 

can affect the strength of your erection and can also help you to last longer. Pelvic exercises are not “just” for people with vaginas, but for penises as well so that you can better control the area. It can also enhance the intensity of your orgasms. I’m talking about conscious effort and building skills targeted to the pelvic area. 

Desensitizing yourself is not a for long-term solution

Delay sprays are popular. The most common ones have numbing agents so that you don’t feel as much, and can last longer. And this can come very handy when you need them, especially if you struggle the first few times with a new partner. 

It is hard to say which formula is going to work for you. The classic delays sprays desensitize you, and most of them are not partner friendly, so they are supposed to be used with condoms in order not to affect them (numbness and bad taste are the most common complaints). Some formulas, like the Skins - Natural Delay Serum + ProBoost give you more freedom. You can apply them beforehand and they don’t affect your partner, so it is safe and discrete, still it won’t necessarily work for everybody. 

The reason I would recommend you to try other solutions as well, is to make you free from any outside source. Being able to delay ejaculation without a spray or serum allows you to enjoy sex spontaneously as well without any extra help. 

Train yourself to orgasm later

Practicing lasting longer is one of the most pleasurable exercises you can do, and it also builds confidence. Pleasure yourself until you are close to coming, and then stop all stimulation and wait. After your arousal level decreases, you start the strokes/stimulation again. Do some round of this before you allow yourself to cum. 

Some people prefer to press the head of the penis instead of stopping all stimulation in order to stop. So experiment and see what works for you the most.

I have to add here that starting a multi-orgasmic training can also be the most satisfying choice you have ever made. Learning to separate your ejaculations from your orgasms can open a new erotic playground for you.

Don’t try to think of socks or to other things that turn you off

One of the most mainstream advice for delaying ejaculation is to think of something unpleasant in order to decrease your arousal level. And while this can work, it will cut the connection to the present moment. Learning and practicing being present even when you are highly aroused is a skill that works for you on the long term not “just” when you are masturbating but also while you are with a partner.

Change your patterns in order to have a strong base

When you masturbate or have sex always the same way, your erotic potential will narrow down with time. After a while your body can find it harder to feel pleasure other ways than the usual pattern. Something that was available and hot before just doesn’t create the same feeling anymore, or you can only orgasm the usual way, and everything else becomes a struggle. 

Accept where you are and work with it rather than focus on the “shoulds”

Sometimes your body has its own idea. You don’t react the way you are expected. And this is normal. The more you resist and try to perform and force something that is not there, the more you lose pleasure. Because pleasure requires presence and acceptance. When you try to act on something that should happen you are not in the flow of arousal and you will lose. The more effort and force you try to add, the further you find yourself from feeling hot and juicy. So don’t judge yourself, accept where you are in the moment and move forward with pleasure.

This is a mindset exercise that can shift your focus and the way you are present in your body even when things don’t happen the way you would find them ideal. Bring yourself back to your body, to your present moment and give yourself grace, be curious and things try to shift slowly. 

Add a cock ring to maintain your erection with less effort

I know you have just read that it is good to be independent of anything, and this is true. I still like to recommend cock rings not as a necessity but as something that can feel amazing and can also support your erection. A cock ring is like a tight grip at the base of the penis and helps to keep the blood in the cock, so that you can have a stronger hard-on. The ring can also go behind the balls, and some people find that using rings to keep the balls further from the base help them with lasting longer.
There is a debate about if cock rings help you to last longer or “just” keeping the erection. Try and see how they feel and choose accordingly.

As you can see there are many ways to support your penis and create healthy practices/relations to what is happening in your body. I wish you a juicy and satisfying sex life free of worries.