The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys: How to Choose Your First Toy

Stepping into the world of adult toys can feel exciting, empowering, and—if we are being honest—a little overwhelming. With thousands of shapes, sizes, materials, and settings available, knowing where to start isn't always obvious.

Whether you are looking to explore solo, introduce something new with a partner, or simply curious about what is out there, choosing your first toy should be fun and completely stress-free.

This guide breaks down everything you need to know: from choosing body-safe materials to selecting the right type of toy for your body and keeping your purchase 100% discreet.

1. Why Start Exploring?

There is no "right" reason or ideal age to buy your first toy. For some, it is about enhancing self-care and discovering what feels good. For others, it is about adding variety to a relationship or making pleasure more accessible.

Starting out as a beginner is all about low pressure and high comfort. You don't need the biggest or most feature-heavy device on the market. In fact, starting simple helps you figure out what sensations you enjoy most without overwhelming your senses.

2. Three Things to Consider Before Buying

Before placing your first order, keeping three simple factors in mind will ensure you select a toy you’ll actually enjoy using.

Body-Safe Materials

Your body deserves the best care possible. Always look for non-porous, medical-grade materials that won't harbor bacteria or irritate sensitive skin.

• Medical-Grade Silicone: Soft, velvet-smooth, durable, and quickly warms to your body temperature. The majority of branded toys use this material now.

• ABS Plastic: Rigid, smooth, lightweight, and excellent for transferring strong vibrations.

• Body-Safe Glass or Metal: Non-porous, hypoallergenic, and ideal for temperature play (warming up or cooling down before use).

• What to Avoid: Jelly rubber, TPR, or PVC containing softeners like phthalates, which can cause irritation or degrade quickly.

Power & Noise Levels

If privacy is a priority, motor noise matters. Modern beginner toys are designed with quiet, discreet motors that whisper rather than roar. Look for toys that offer multiple speed settings starting at a gentle flutter so you can build up intensity gradually. A rule of thumb though is power machines tend to be louder. Beginners should not really be chasing power though as you wand the experience and to learn.

Size and Usability

Bigger isn't necessarily better—especially when you're starting out. Compact, ergonomically shaped toys are easier to handle, less intimidating, and allow you to target specific areas with control and precision. Remember too big is always a problem, too small you can work with.

3. Best Types of Beginner-Friendly Toys

Different toys deliver very different sensations. Here are the most popular, user-friendly categories to consider for your first purchase.

For Solo Vulva & Clitoral Exploration

• Bullet Vibrators: Small, lightweight, and direct. A bullet vibrator delivers targeted external stimulation and is one of the most versatile and budget-friendly beginner choices. Rocks Off and Cuties do brilliant bullets.

• Air-Suction / Pressure-Wave Toys: Instead of direct vibration, these popular toys use gentle air waves to stimulate the clitoris without direct contact. They are wildly popular for a reason: they offer a unique, gentle sensation that rarely causes oversensitivity. Beginners we are talking Satisfyer or if cash no obstacle go Womanizer or ROMP.

• Mini Vibrators & Finger Vibes: Ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in your hand, offering smooth surfaces for external play or light internal exploration. Satisfyer do magic finger vibes.

For Solo Penis & Body Exploration

• Textured Sleeves & Strokers: Made from soft, flexible silicone or TPE, strokers provide added texture and suction during solo play. Beginner models are compact, open-ended for easy cleaning, and easy to control. Brands like Tenga are masters here.

• Prostate / P-Spot Massagers: For those interested in internal exploration, beginner prostate massagers feature a gentle curve, a flared safety base, and subtle vibration modes. Extra caution here on size beginners, start small. I love Fun Factory and Rocks Off here.

For Couples

• Vibrating Cock Rings: Simple, flexible, and immensely effective. Worn at the base, they help maintain stamina while providing simultaneous external vibration for a partner during intercourse. Can take a little play to learn how to best play but sure that is half the fun here.

• Remote-Controlled & App-Enabled Toys: Perfect for adding an element of surprise, playfulness, and shared control to intimacy—whether you are in the same room or managing a long-distance relationship. Lovense are the de-facto brand here but not cheap. Satisfyer do get distance play toys too.

4. Don't Forget Lubricant: The Ultimate Essential

If there is one golden rule for beginner toy use, it is this: always use lube. Lubricant reduces friction, increases sensitivity, and makes every sensation feel smoother and more comfortable. Lubes will honestly make the experience 5 times easier and more pleasurable. 

• Water-Based Lubricant: The gold standard for sex toys. It is completely safe to use with all toy materials (including silicone) and washes off easily with warm water.

• Silicone Lubricant: Long-lasting and great for shower play, but never use silicone lube with silicone toys, as it can degrade and break down the surface of your toy over time.

5. Cleaning, Storage, and Care

Taking proper care of your investment ensures it lasts for years and stays completely hygienic.

1. Clean Before & After Use: Wash your toy with warm water and a specialized anti-bacterial toy cleaner (or a mild, unfragranced soap).

2. Dry Thoroughly: Allow the toy to air dry completely or pat it dry with a lint-free towel before storing.

3. Store Correctly: Store your toys in a cool, dry place inside a breathable fabric pouch or dust bag. Keep silicone toys from resting directly against each other to avoid material degradation.

6. What to Order Though - Where do I start?

This is all well and good but we have hundreds of categories, some with weird and slightly intimidating names and thousands of sex toys. Where do I start to look. 

First if you know the kind of product you are looking for go straight to that category e.g. Solo Women looking for a Bullet? we have that in the menu. If you are still unsure what to but go to our Beginners Sex Toys Page to let us show you beginners toys for each of the main categories. 

7. What to Expect When You Order (Privacy & Discretion)

We know that privacy is essential when shopping online. Every order placed with PlayBlue is dispatched in plain, unbranded packaging with neutral return details, ensuring total discretion from our door to yours. Your billing statement will also reflect a discreet merchant name PB Ltd

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best sex toy for a absolute beginner?

For vulva owners, a compact bullet vibrator or a pressure-wave air suction toy is usually the best place to start. For penis owners, a compact textured stroker sleeve or a simple vibrating ring offers an easy, approachable introduction.

Are silicone sex toys completely safe?

Yes, provided they are made from 100% medical-grade silicone. Medical-grade silicone is non-porous, hypoallergenic, free from harmful phthalates, and easy to sterilize.

Can I use regular body lotion or oil as lubricant?

No. Household lotions, vaseline, or baby oils can harbor bacteria, disrupt your natural pH balance, and permanently break down latex and toy materials. Always stick to a dedicated water-based lubricant for toys.

Quick Beginner's Checklist

• Choose body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone.

• Pick up a bottle of water-based lubricant.

• Start with a compact, easy-to-use shape.

• Clean your toy before and after every use.

• Enjoy exploring at your own pace!