Which stage of sexuality are you in right now?

I know how it feels to be horny and wanting sex all the time. 

I know how it feels to want to withdraw and not even think about sex.

I know how it feels to look for more information, but not there yet to act on desires.

I know how it feels to think you are broken, and you don’t want anybody to know.

I know how it feels when you expand your sexual potential and you don’t even know who you are anymore.

And I also know how it feels when you can’t even imagine how sex will be again with a new partner…

Of course there is more. Life is very hmmm… generous when it is about all the spectrum of sexuality related feelings and experiences.

This can be overwhelming, especially when you don’t realize that almost every one of us experience the different stages of sexuality, and that it is totally normal to be in any of them for a period of time. The question is if you are in the stage that you want to be. Sometimes even knowing which stage you are at can help you to release the anxiety around where you are and what you are doing and can provide clarity for the future.

Even just knowing that change is possible can be liberating.

These 5 stages are from my Erotic Blueprint Coach studies, and they have changed the way I think about what is possible not just at the moment, but in the future as well. Your erotic potential exists wherever you are at this moment. 


Resting stage


When you are in this stage you are withdrawn from practicing sexuality. Maybe by choice or maybe not. You can be in a sexless relationship, maybe you are still a virgin, maybe you are between relationships, and don’t want to start anything sexual until the new one… Just because you don’t have sex at this moment, it doesn’t mean that you will never have it. You can’t even imagine how your sexual potential can bloom again when you choose to say yes to it.
The question is if you are where you want to be… 


Healing stage


In this stage you can heal from physical or emotional/sexual trauma. How long you stay in this stage is defined by how long you can recover from the trauma. This is a powerful stage that allows you to experience more pleasure in the future. Finding the right tools, support, and nourishment can make a big difference here. If you have a partner and they are not in this stage, having a strategy about how to successfully handle this is essential. 


Curious stage 

 

When you are in this stage, you know that there is more for you. You want to know more, and you are looking for more information. You prepare for something more. You want to become a better lover. You are looking for techniques, understanding, inspiration, skill building… Start exploring slowly so that you can enjoy the adventurous stage.


Adventurous stage


Being in an adventurous stage is all about excitement and sexual self-expression. You do not “just” want to do more, but you do more. You feel liberated, maybe you try something new, explore being more kinky, you are spicing up your sex life. When you are in this stage being patient and having healthy boundaries is crucial, especially if your partner is not in this stage.


Transformative stage


When you want to move beyond physical sex and experience a new realm of erotic possibilities. You probably start Eastern sexual practices or use your experimenting for personal development and your life transforms.


So which stage are you in?

Are you where you want to be?

 

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