So you want to have more than one orgasm? Here is how.

I have a very visceral reaction when I hear people talking about “finishing” as having an (the one and only) orgasm. It feels so limiting. Like you are orienting yourself towards a goal / the finish line / the orgasm and then you are done. It feels like a competition or work rather than freedom, play, fun and loads of pleasure.

What if you decide when to finish rather than an achieved orgasm will decide it for you?

Ok, but how can you have more than one orgasm? Here are some tips to free your erotic potential and have more satisfaction that you have ever thought is possible for you. 

Break your routine

Most people build a routine around how they cum. The more you repeat this, the more you feel like you have control over your orgasms, but this routine also limits your erotic potential. It takes time and conscious effort to change this. You usually go through a period when you feel out of control and less confident. If you allow yourself to feel this way but continue to experiment and play with your pleasure you are going to feel more alive and experience new highs. 

You cum from tensing up and your orgasm is the big release

Don’t get me wrong explosive orgasms feel amazing and you can keep having them, but if your goal is to have multiple orgasms you have to aim to learn to relax into your next orgasm and the next. So when you realise you are tensing up take big breaths and especially focus on the long exhale. Allow yourself to feel the expansion. Otherwise you “just” release the energy and there is no pleasure left to ride. 

Try to stay with your pleasure and have multiple orgasms

Sometimes you don’t experience something because you never try it. This is even more true if you have a penis. It is quite possible that you haven't seen many men who can orgasm without ejaculation, even though this is a skill that can be practised, and this means that you can experience several orgasms in a row without needing to stop. You finish because you want to and not because your body pushes you out of your pleasure zone.

If you have a vulva, you also can prioritise pleasure over “finishing”. The relaxing into pleasure part that I wrote about before is essential. If you feel like your orgasm was “too much” and you are overwhelmed with the slightest touch experiment with what can keep you grounded. Maybe holding your palm with more pressure on your vulva. And breathing into it. Make sounds, move your body and feel into what would your body enjoy the next.

 

There is always more. Maybe your body wants a different kind of pleasure now. Focus on another part of your body that is actually open to pleasure. It is ok to do small steps. It is ok to accept when your body says no. Creating safety in your body and nervous system is key to opening up your erotic potential.