3 ways you can harm yourself with self-pleasure

Pleasure is your birth right. We are all wired for it. Not the same way though… and this post is not trying to convince you not to masturbate, but about how to avoid the mistakes that can harm you. Self-pleasure can be juicy, satisfying, deeply nourishing and even healing, and it matters how you do it. 

So here are the 3 most common ways that are working against you:

You don't clean and store your toys properly


It matters a lot what material your toy is made from and how you handle, clean and/or store it. If you don’t clean your toy property before using it again it can cause some nasty infections. If you put your toy in a plastic, non breathable bag, it can become mouldy, so choose a proper toy bag or store it in a way that allows air circulation around. And of course rinse it before using it again, to get rid of dust or other residue.

It is also important to talk about the damage silicone lubes can cause on silicone and some jelly toys. It damages the material which will deteriorate. You don’t want to use these on your sensitive parts. 

So please be safe physically. 

 

You do the same pattern over and over and over again


I see this very often when I talk to people about sexual challenges. They find something that is a sure way for them to turn on and/or come and they repeat it again, and again, and again… It works, it is low effort, it is juicy. Until it is not. The more you choose the same thing again, the more you close yourself into this pattern, and the harder it becomes with time to live your erotic potential. Later on, you can also experience difficulties when you want to enjoy sex, self-pleasure or cum.

I’m talking about masturbating the same way to the same videos/fantasies in the same position. Challenge yourself from time to time for something new. This can feel boring at the beginning, but work on it, so that your options can open up for you again.

Fetishes can also be in this category. You can expand your options, but it takes conscious work, time, tolerance and patience.

I’m not saying that you should work on your erotic patterns and dynamics if you are happy with them or because others want you to. I’m saying that plenty of the challenges coming from growing erotic limitations can be changed with work and time, but you can also prevent many of them in the first place by not repeating the same routes over and over again without adding anything. Experiencing, discovering new things about yourself and being open and playful are the way for erotic freedom. 

Challenging yourself is one of the ways to experience more.


You follow an agenda regardless of your genuine reaction


The biggest killer of pleasure and orgasms is having expectations about how you should feel and how you should react and when. Pleasure usually  doesn’t tolerate imposed expectations well. When you are alone, you don’t have to worry about other people, but yourself, still you can be judgmental and pushy about what you feel and how fast/slow go.

When you learn to feel where you are in the moment and what you want and/or need it opens the door for pleasure you have never even dreamt of. So learn to give yourself space and time and forget about any agendas. 

It is ok, to lose interest from one minute to another, you will get back to the heights. It is ok not to know what you need next. You will learn to listen to yourself even better with time. It is ok to go slow or to stop, you will learn to trust. It is ok to feel bored. The least you resist the faster you will move forward. 

Enjoy your self-pleasure and don’t close yourself into a prison, because there is more satisfaction, more pleasure and more orgasms waiting for you on the other end.

 

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