3 Ways You Are Ruining Her Orgasms - SexCoach Blog

When I’m talking to people about orgasms I see these patterns over and over again. Of course orgasms are not guaranteed, but it is especially difficult to cum when any of these 3 factors are present.

What are the 3 orgasm killers?

Putting pressure on your partner

The right pressure at the right time can feel amazing, but the pressure I’m talking about now is the expectation for your partner to cum. Most women already struggle a lot with thoughts of how long they take to cum, and performance anxiety kills pleasure. 

Of course it is normal that you want her to cum (she wants this too), but even without you saying a word it can affect her capacity to cum. 

If you express how much you enjoy every second with her and focus on the present moment you can facilitate her orgasm. 

 

You change what you are doing when she is close

Whenever I read erotic stories and see the storyline with him pumping faster and deeper and even faster and even deeper I have to laugh. It doesn't impress me much and it wouldn’t impress most women either in real life. 

When she is close to cumming, whatever you are doing, don’t change it. Don’t go faster, or deeper, or add more pressure or whatever, except if she is asking you. One of the most frustrating things is to almost cumming and all of a sudden you lose your momentum, because the stimulation changes.

Men usually have the point of no return, so after this whatever happens they will cum. And this doesn’t work the same for most women. The change can affect her opportunity for an orgasm. So when she is close to orgasm, it means that what you are doing is working for her, so keep doing it exactly the same as before. 

 

You are doing too much

Nobody wants to feel that they are not enough. Especially in an intimate situation. It is natural that you want to do everything and put yourself into the encounter totally.

What if I say that in many cases this is too much. I know a lot of women who are super sensitive. They can be overwhelmed, and shut down because of it. Many times they are not even aware of what is happening. It is natural that when you sense that what you are doing is not working, you try to do more. But in this case more won’t get you through.

It feels very vulnerable to do less, to go slower and/or lighter, but this is the key. Be open minded, and instead of what you think you should do, focus on your partner and her feedback. Ease and freedom are your friend here, and this can ignite the most explosive orgasms.