Anal pleasure is one of the most elusive. It is a huge turn on for so many people, but when they try it, it can be a lot to handle all at once and while a few people enjoy the pain related, others do not. Don’t let bad times stop you from enjoying the fulfilment of anal pleasure and build a solid foundation for pain-free, satisfying experiences.
What should you do and what to avoid if you want to enjoy the sweet and deep fulfilment of anal play?
Build trust in your body alone first
This is the key, still most people don’t even understand what I’m talking about. Your body needs to feel safe in order to open up freely and be able to feel the full spectrum of the pleasure available. When you have built trust you know when you are ready, you know when your body resists and how things feel when things happen according to your normal, your rhythm, your depth.
The freest way is to build a connection and trust in your body is to do this without expectations and agendas. And the most secure way to do this is to start alone, so that you can focus on yourself, feeling every little sensation pleasant or painful without judgement. And “just” because you do things alone, it doesn’t mean that you are able to be non-judgmental and without any agenda.
Always start already aroused
When you have already had some pleasure you become more open to feel it everywhere. And some people need lots of pleasure to be open for deeply fulfilling anal pleasure. It is almost like you have to go through some levels of pleasure in order for that backdoor to really open. And of course this requires that trust I have already written about. One or true orgasms are a really good way to start moving deeper.
Lube up
Please. Do I need to say more? :D Oh yes, I think I have to add that if you use silicone or jelly toys, please use a really good water-based lube. Silicone lubes are awesome, but please don’t use them with silicone or jelly toys, except if the manufacturer states otherwise (these are the exception to the rule, not the norm).
Choose beginner friendly toys
There are so many amazing anal toys, but it can take time and patience to enjoy them without the challenge of size, shape or material. Allow yourself to play with what is the best for your present situation, and not where you want to be. (You have more potential to get there eventually if you can be patient.)
You have rimming toys, to enjoy your anus without penetration. A good prostate massager is perfect for slow insertion regardless of your gender. I love this jelly toy, because of the 2 different ends. You can discover if your anus loves smooth texture or the beads more?
Plugs seem like an obvious choice, but those are made to stay in place, which feels amazing, but maybe at the beginner you need something more mobile. I would also add here that the big difference between the girth of the wide part and the narrow “handle” can cause pain initially, so try something with less difference first.
And of course as you have more experience with anal pleasure you can try different options, hence you have trust, connection and confidence in your ability to enjoy yourself.
What should you avoid doing if you want to enjoy your full anal pleasure potential?
Don’t rush
I know that you have already heard this for sure, but what does going slow actually mean? It is normal to need 15 minutes or more to open up for penetration.
It is normal to stop and withdraw several times so that you can follow your own pace. This is why awareness and connection is so important.
It is ok to have sessions for just the rim. It is ok to go just a little bit deeper.
When you have the freedom and listen to your body, usually your responses are going to become faster (probably).
Pain is a sign to stop
Anal pleasure shouldn’t be painful. When you are in sync with yourself you don’t force yourself to push through pain. Can the pain that you feel become pleasure eventually? Yes, it can. But this way you will meet the pain every single time. And there is a lot of your erotic anal potential that you won’t be able to experience. Pain is a sign that you are faster than your own pace. Give yourself as much as you are open to. And when your body knows that you listen and respect the pace, you can experience more and more pleasure.
Don’t let shame stopping you
Anal pleasure is still a taboo. And while some people are aroused by the shame factor of it, most people can feel too ashamed to explore further.
Enjoying your backdoor can be deeply fulfilling. It doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or that you are filthy. It doesn’t make you lose your identity or sexual orientation. You are wired for anal pleasure. It is your birth right. You can choose to explore more or you can choose not to. It is all valid.
Don’t do it dry
I know we were talking about lubing up, and still people think that doing any kind of penetration without lubrication is somehow superior. It is not. You can damage the sensitive tissue and lose all the trust that you have built. Ease is the way and slay.
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