Does your clitoris become too sensitive to go on after an orgasm?

I have a friend who struggled with an oversensitive clitoris after an orgasm. And I know she is not the only one, but somebody I know personally and she asked for my help. And this is something that you can work on too, in order to be able to enjoy several orgasms, not “just” one.


Do you need a partner in order to change?

This is something that you can work on even alone, without a partner. If you want to work with a partner, you will find support here too.


Here is what to do:

You need to be able to feel yourself and act on those feelings as well. So when you feel something is too much, accept is right away, don’t fight it, don’t go into “I’m so fucked up” mode. Just accept that this is too much right now. 

If you are alone, you don’t have to communicate this, you can “just” follow along. Which sounds very simple, but there is so much programming around what you should do and feel, that sometimes takes a lot of time and practice to establish a connection with yourself that you can trust.

If you have a partner, it is essential to create a safe space for the both of you, when you are together. Only when you have this, you can cooperate in a way that will transform the situation. It requires time, patience, acceptance and good communication. 

When you’ve just had an orgasm, inhale deeply and put your palm over your whole vulva. Find the pressure that feels relaxing to you. This for some women is very light pressure, some prefers a firm hold, some can only accept a “non-touch” energetic hold, when the palm “just” hovers over the vulva.

So if you do this with your partner, allow space to experiment which one feels right to you at the moment. And just because one time your body wanted a light touch, it doesn’t mean that this will be your pattern. Always check in at the moment, and keep focusing on what feels good. 

Maybe you don't want any touch around your vulva, “just” space to withdraw. This is also legit. Accept it, and act on it. It will build trust and with time, it can create a new yes for you, if you don’t have an agenda or expectation for yourself or for your partner, and what happens is in alignment with your inner boundaries as well.

When the hand is on your vulva, inhale deeply and when you exhale deeply, and even longer. When you exhale, you try to imagine that all this concentrated energy/excitement/overstimulation is dissolving. To some people it is helpful to have their (or their partner’s) hand on their headspace or any other place that feels relevant at the moment. The important thing is to stay connected. Breathing helps, so does acceptance.

When you feel ready to continue and to be touched again, act on it. This can start further away from your vulva first or on your labia. The pressure and the way of touch can also be different. It can be closer or further. See what feels good at the moment. 

If you want, you can go for a different kind of orgasm this time (like anal ones, throat ones, energetic ones…).

Even if you do this alone or with a partner, being able to stop anytime without resentment, it is the key.

If your partner was inside you when you had your orgasm, stay together and connected, without them moving first. Do the breathing and dissolve the energy. When I do this it feels like rippling waves originating from me moving outward. 

I hope this helps you to have even more orgasms, and feel fulfilled at the end.

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