Your January Intimacy Challange

You don’t need a new year's resolution in order to make your sex life juicier than ever. Make our small challenges instead, ignite your passion and feel more confident.

Every month I will give you a challenge, so that you can create change that is aligned with you. You don’t need a partner to do these challenges, but of course you can involve them if this works for your relationship. But this is about you and your unique connection with your body and sexuality. You don’t need to do all of these tasks in order to gain from these challenges. Just do what you feel like doing (but the more you explore and challenge yourself, the better your results can be).

Your January Intimacy Challenge

You can only start where you are at the moment. And where you are is based on what you have already experienced. 

When you think back, which 3 experiences are the ones that made you feel the most satisfied?

Let your mind do the searching, and give yourself time to find the right ones. You can start with “just” one. Sit down, and go through it to the tiniest details. It can help if you write it down, some people prefer to just do it mentally. I find that writing down can help.

Don’t choose a fantasy, but something that really happened to you. If you haven't got any partnered sexual encounters yet, then use your solo sex experiences. Something that made you happy and satisfied. If you don’t have those yet either, then I will have more tasks suitable for you later, so follow me for more.

It doesn’t matter if your experiences ended with an orgasm or not, what matters is that you loved them. You would be surprised how many hottest experiences are not related to orgasms or the orgasms are not a significant part of them.

This is why I ask you to go through them in detail. Just start with one, do the work and only when you are finished go to the second. This will make your “work” easier as you go along.

Don’t judge them or yourself. It doesn’t matter how you think it should have been, or what is normal or expected. What matters is the reality of it. 

So go through these experiences with a brand new eye. And look for the elements that are accentuated in a way now, and just take a note of them.

What were the circumstances?

What is the most surprising to you?
How did you feel at the beginning and how at the end?

What happened?

What were the things that felt the best for you?

What is accentuated physically?

What is accentuated emotionally?

What was not present?

What were the feelings associated with the experience?

What did you find attractive in the scene?

And what did you find unattractive?

What are the unconventional elements?

What was the journey about?

And anything else that seems to have a significance for you…

And if you put the 3 stories together, maybe you see a pattern, but maybe these 3 experiences are creating a bigger picture.

The important part is to see your unique way to experience pleasure.

We have so many agendas and beliefs about sexuality, but realizing what actually works for us, is very liberating and this is how you can start to create new, fulfilling experiences.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask at the sexcoach@playblue.ie

Stay tuned for your next intimacy challenge in February.