Self-pleasure the healthy way

Everybody expects themselves to know what exactly they need to know about how to have the best sex. But this rarely happens. Just like most people don’t know how to cook without seeing others cooking, tasting food, trying out recipes… It all matters.

The same is true for self-pleasure. This is the foundation of your sex life. 

 

How can you feel yourself and stay connected?

How much do you know of your own needs?

What do you like?

How long do you last?

How resilient are you?

How much pleasure can you take?

Most of us self-pleasure pretty often. And the more you do the same thing, the more it becomes a pattern. And the more it becomes a pattern, the more you restrict and limit yourself without even knowing. 

Still if you decide to grow sexually and free yourself from routine, build new skills, train for endurance, become more orgasmic…  there is always more for you, regardless of your actual situation.

So what can you do to make your self pleasure erotically liberating and a strong base for a juicy and satisfying sex life?

Break the routine

Most people have some kind of routine. Like fantasies that they like and replay over and over again. Or watching porn or read/listen erotic stories when they self pleasure. It can be a special toy they use… Whatever it is, deciding to do something different is going to broaden your erotic horizon.

It sounds obvious, still most people love their routine, because it is low effort and reliable. And when you decide to change this, you are met with resistance. Things feel more grey and sometimes pleasure can feel not as accessible. This is because of losing familiarity. If you accept this as normal, and continue playing with yourself everything can open up again and become more vibrant and alive again.

Change positions

Even though changing positions is also part of breaking the routine, I wanted to make a special section about it. Masturbating in a different position than you usually do, helps to build resilience and you can access pleasure even when circumstances change.

Create challenges for yourself 

This is one of the best ways to build skills, why you are (hopefully) having fun.

It can be about using your non-dominant hand.

Or not allowing yourself to cum.

Or edging yourself.

Or trying a new kind of orgasm (nipple/throat/anal)

Self-pleasuring super slow or light…

Add toys

A new toy can bring in unexpected experiences, inspiration, more orgasms, new ways to satisfy yourself. Being open to experiment is healthy. Even if you don’t like the new sensations, your curiosity will make a difference. It is making you bolder and more resilient.

And if you enjoy your new toy, you are in for more pleasure and some new ways.

A toy doesn’t need to be a dildo or a vibrator. It can be as simple as a tingling lube or a feather tickler, a pin wheel…

Practice staying present and breathing deeper

This is crucial and essential, and the most overlooked. Practicing staying present and coming back to the sensations instead of being in your head is the foundation for pleasure. It happens to everybody losing the connection with their bodies. What is important is to be able to come back again and again.

Breathing deeper relaxes you and opens you up to feel and be in your body. Focus on yourself and the moment and your sex life becomes more filled with pleasure.