Q&A How can I venture into solo anal play as a beginner?
Anal play can be the most amazing experience. The pleasure is different, the orgasms are mind-blowing and you can feel the “after-pleasure” even the next day. Exploring solo and finding out your body’s unique way for the best backdoor play is safe and deeply satisfying. And with this embodied wisdom you can create fulfilling experiences for yourself or play with your partner(s) and enjoy all those delicious orgasms.
Starting solo provides you with enough time, patience and safety to become an expert in your own body and to connect to your anal pleasure and create a stable, healthy foundation for more. If you understand these basics and play accordingly, you will have a rewarding and satisfying foundation for anal pleasure
Go slow and gradually
I know you hear this tip all the time, but I still talk to a lot of people who disregard this fundamental part, which means that your anus is not able to relax and be in a receiving state. Your anus has lots of very sensitive nerve endings, so going slow, creating a connection and respecting your body’s feedback will create a better and actually faster way to receive that yummy anal pleasure.
Before even thinking of anal penetration, play a lot with the outer part of your anus. It is super sensitive and this will help you to open up for more.
Just holding, feeling your rosebud is the first part. Be present, breath slowly, and you will feel the anal sphincter relaxing. If you have a partner, rimming can be an amazing 1st step. In solo play you can use a rimming toy, like the Skins - Rose Buddies Bums n Roses Rotating Rimming toy.
But of course your hand is always a good option too. Get some lube and experiment with different kinds of touches and pressure. From holding to circles to up and down movements see what works the best for you in the moment. And this can be super satisfying too. It is ok to “just” play a couple of times like this first and only start to penetrate when you feel like craving for it.
You don’t need to go through pain to get to the pleasure
I hear this a lot from people, that the pain is normal, you “just” force yourself through it and after that it will become pleasurable. And this can happen, to be honest. But isn’t there a better way to go with your feelings and focus on what feels pleasurable in that moment and act accordingly? Your experience will be way more different, guaranteed.
Withdrawing is not a failure but a safety maker
Yes, you can focus on pleasure and you can crave penetration and at some point you can experience pain all of a sudden. The way you “handle” the pain can be a gamechanger.
For some people withdrawing right away, and “just” holding your hand over the anus, feeling yourself, breathing through the pain and being empathetic rather than disappointed is the key. This is not a failure. You are actually building trust in your own body. Usually it is better not to continue with another penetration attempt, but still creating a pleasurable experience for yourself and having some orgasms.
Still some people’s body prefers not withdrawal, but staying with the toy/finger not moving forward, but breathing through the pain, waiting for it to dissipate before any attempt to go deeper.
Go whichever feels the right way for you at that moment. Hence you are playing solo, it is only about you and your needs and limitations.
A good lube is everything
Your backside is not self-lubricating, so a good lube is essential. Silicone based lubes are usually longer lasting, but if you use a silicone or jelly toy, please don’t use them, go for a waterbased lube instead. But if you play with metal or glass toys or using your own fingers silicone lubes are optimal. Reapply whenever it is needed.
Some anal lubes are numbing, I personally wouldn’t choose them for safety reasons. It is good to know what is happening in your body, or you can injure yourself. I can imagine occasions when they can be useful, but not for initiating anal play.
My favourite waterbased anal lubes: Sliquid Naturals Sassy Anal Lubricant, System JO Anal H2O Lubricant.
My favourite silicone anal lubes: ID Backslide Premium Anal Lube, the insert version of the same lube, Pjur Back Door Relaxing Lube
Try different positions
I’m not “only” talking about good accessibility to your backdoor, but different positions can be differently pleasurable. A good pillow or bolster can also make a big difference.
Toys can be your best options
It is not so easy to use your own hand for your optimal pleasure (of course a lot depends on your proportions), but toys are totally up for the task. They give you extra length, pressure or texture, so that you can only focus on how juicy you are feeling.
Most people's first thoughts are butt plugs, and don’t get me wrong, they are awesome, but when you are at the beginning, massagers are even better.
If you just want something simple the Smoothy Prober (+ waterbased lube) is one of my favourites, because it has a beaded and a smooth side, so you can experiment with them and see which texture is the best for your sensitive ass. 🙂 It also has a good grip.
If you have a prostate the Divine Touch (+ waterbased lube) is amazing to explore this part, because it is shaped specifically for this task.
If you would go for a glass dildo the Spectrum Ribbed G-Spot Glass Dildo (with any lube) can be perfect. It has different textures, provides strong pressure, and it is easy to manage it even with only one hand. It is a small/medium size.
If your backside enjoys the smooth texture rather than the beads, then opt for the Glamour Glass Curved Wand (+ any lube), it comes in 2 sizes: smaller or bigger.
Prostate orgasms and “just” anal orgasms are 2 different kinds of orgasms, just like G-spot and vaginal orgasms can feel different. I’m encouraging you to try both and enjoy both. 😀
I would only start using vibrating toys if you already have a good connection with your anus and you know yourself and your reactions better. It just helps you to be more conscious about what is happening in your body and how your sensations change, this way you can really ride all the different kinds of pleasure waves that are ignited.:)
Your body is wired for pleasure, and this is especially true for your butt. You find lots of sensitive nerve endings there, and your anus is pretty much reacts according to your emotional state, so being relaxed, open, curious, respecting your body and focusing on what feels good is the best way to start a safe and still mind-blowing anal pleasure journey, that is going to evolve to even more with time.