It seems that you are not compatible anymore. At least not the same way as it seemed at the beginning, when you couldn’t wait to be together and the closer, the better. Somehow what you are doing doesn’t seem to be enough or it seems to be too much.
And you are really trying. Trying to make it better. Looking for the tips.
And you are wondering if you are sexually compatible?
What is wrong with you? Or with them?
What if nothing is wrong with you?
What if nothing is wrong with your partner?
What if you are actually still compatible?
What if the passion between you can be reignited?
What if the best sex of your life is still ahead of you? (And I mean together.)
A client of mine told me, that their sex life has just got back to how it was at the beginning 12 years ago. Just better, deeper and even more fulfilling. They are closer than they have ever been.
What is the drive or force that can bring you back together? What can help you to connect and feel totally satisfied in your sex life?
It is never just luck.
It is about being aware of your map of arousal and how to use that map the right way. I use the Erotic Blueprints to discover these dynamics. It is so fascinating to see my clients finally realize that they are not broken “just” different, and that there is a map for them to find the right way to create and share juicy and passionate connections again. This is something that you can learn and practice.
You will find lots of support about that in my blogposts, just follow my lead. Let's start with the introductory video.
It is about holding place for what is present without expectations. It is really about riding the waves that are coming. And there have always been waves to ride.
Back in Hungary I led some intimacy workshops for couples (I only had hetero couples so I am going to use men for males and women for the females on the workshops) involving a cock stroking practice with the permission to the men to be soft, and not hard while they were stroked. So that they can "just be just the way they are in the moment".
One of the main themes of sharing the experience after the practice was that women were struggling when their partners were not hard. It affected their confidence. At least at the beginning. The second she accepted that her partner is soft and she decided to feel that softness and play with it, all of a sudden their partner had just got hard. This was a pattern. Accepting what is present and going with it is very liberating and it can be a total game changer. So underrated.
It is quite similar when your partner (or you) wants you to come badly and this tension and expectation causes you to lose your orgasmic wave and the effortlessness and it seems that you are further and further from coming.
Almost like if you would want to surf, but you can actually only surf the waves that are there, not the waves that you wish to have. You can't ride a wave that doesn't exist. Or you ride the waves that are present or you learn how to create better ones.
- It is about commitment and willingness to experiment and play. You get what you are committed to. This is true in your sex life as well. The willingness to do things differently and also to be really honest and authentic and being present for yourself and for your partner are essential to thrive sexually.
My clients do sexy sex labs, adventure dates and challenges so that they can thrive. And this requires willingness to expand and being committed even if you fuck something up. Because it is natural to fuck things up, and if you handle this well, it can help you to become more confident and adventurous rather than being shut down.
- It is about becoming a bit of being a sex detective too and investigate several aspects or your dynamics together. Hence your libido and drive can be affected by factors of your lifestyle, hormones, emotional blockages etc…
So yes, in many cases you can create a good foundation to reignite the passion between you. Sometimes even one person is enough to do this and change the dynamics.
And it starts with accepting and respecting what is present and finding out what the common goals are. So that you can create experiences that can build both of you up and strengthen your connection authentically.
Do you have a question? Write to me so that I can support you.