Not Everything Is a Sex Toy



I’m sure you’ve seen it online before - the half joking but seemingly logical statement: ‘Anything’s a sex toy if you’re brave enough’. And sure, that’s true in a very literal sense - if you really want to raid the bag of carrots in order to satisfy your needs you certainly could. But just because you’re horny and the carrots are close at hand (albeit a little cold from the fridge) doesn’t mean that you should.

 I don’t need to list the number of household objects that could be used as sex toys. I’ve heard of people using fruits and veggies, whiteboard markers, toothbrushes and even vacuum cleaners in order to get their kicks. Hey, no shame from me - but looking into the big innocent eyes of Henry Hoover while you stick your bits in what essentially is his nose is not my idea of a good time.

 That doesn’t even take into account the risks involved with using foreign objects as a sex toy. Nobody wants to end up impaled on a household object like the subject of an urban legend I was introduced to in the mid 2000’s. I’m fairly sure that the girl masturbating with sweeping brush while sitting on top of fridge story was just made up to scare curious pre-teens off of sex forever - but you can’t be too careful.

 I know how it can be, in the moment your clouded sex-brain is willing to try anything to get off - we’ve all been there. But the truth of the matter is, using objects that aren’t meant as sex toys inside yourself is a pretty bad idea for a few reasons. One of the biggest ones (and by that, I mean the one that will pretty much instantly inspire horror and kill any kind of vibe you’re aiming for) is that the object could get stuck inside you. Stories of people going to A&E with foreign objects lost in their anal cavities are ridiculously common - and the vagina is not immune to things vanishing inside it either. This is why most good sex toys for penetrative use are fitted with a flared base or a bigger end.

Generally sex toys are sturdier than your average carrot (or whatever your root vegetable of choice is). They are made out of materials that are designed to be used internally and tested rigorously so they won’t break inside you - which is a very real risk with objects that aren’t built for this purpose. Even if an object doesn’t break inside you - the texture alone (no matter how much lube you use) can cause serious irritation and any sharp parts can rip the delicate lining inside your rectum or vagina. Cringe.  

 With sex toys bought from a trusted source you can be sure of the materials being used because you can read about them before you buy. We’re passionate about providing our customers with the best materials in our toys and the information they need when choosing what they want. You know that with a clean, fit for purpose sex toy, you’re not bringing in the bacteria that could be congregating on your makeshift dildo of choice or using something that is not safe for your body. It just makes sense.

I may be a little biased but in all honesty this is the same thing I’d tell a friend who was using a foreign object for sexual purposes: your body is important, your pleasure is important and you deserve a tool that’s fit for purpose. Buying a good sex toy is an investment in yourself that you deserve - and let’s be honest, the poor household items need a bit of a break too.

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